Here are the rules:
1: pick up to 3 Kpop songs you feel a real connection with & just feel the song speaks to you!
2: Share your story!! why you think the song makes you feel that way & what you love about it or what it did for you!
Bit of a warning: lots of sad sad.
1. Akdong Musician - Artificial Grass
This is a song that on first listen, it doesn't sound very deep. It is quite poppy and simplistic. But, if you know anything at Akdong Musician, you have to look deeper because the song always holds something special.
This song in particular is about feelings fake or artificial and the urge for a real existence, to feel like the real grass feels. Although it weathers and is connected to dirt and grime, it has the chance for growth, where the artificial grass is pristine and looks nice, but it isn't alive. There is no growth.
"Everything looks good
All things I have are looking good
But the reason I can’t be happy
You know why?
I want to breathe too
I want to swallow the rain and lay roots
Like real grass
Like real grass
Look at the tickling fields when the wind blows
Even if I shake, I can’t feel my blades
That grass gets shy when it touches the dirty
But unlike them, I don’t have life
They look good"
I have problems with feeling connected to being alive. So this really speaks to me. I feel fake, wrapped up in a package but nothing really inside. Fake grass, looking good on the outside but there is no substance, no chance for growth. I am quite envious of people that are so full of life and living, that have the strength to go through things and grow as people. I live in my little bubble of fear and falsehood. I put on a face that is carefree and calm, but inside I am empty. I want to be like the real grass too.
2. Rap Monster - 표류 (Adrift)
Whenever this song comes on you just have to kind of stop and breath you know?
And the fact that I've seen this song on multiple other peoples' lists speaks volumes to really how much of us feel lost in a world that we are made for.
The first time I heard this song was on my first straight through listen of Rap Mon's mixtape, and I had to go back and listen to this song twice before I could move on.
First of all, it just sounds so tender and broken. Raw emotions drive this, because the track is pretty stripped but has so much weight with just Namjoon's voice and words. Before I even looked up the meaning, I could feel what it was about.
"I don’t know whether I’ve lost the way
or whether from the beginning I was lost
even when I’m with someone, one corner of my heart is lonely
the fact that I was born is frightening
death hurts too badly
and the present is too desolate
where is my meaning
where is my heart
in this vast universe
I’m endlessly adrift
I’m endlessly adrift"
I say these things to myself a lot. I am scared to be alive, but death is scary, but the now is meaningless. Who am I? What am I doing? What is my purpose?
In a lot of ways, songs like that make me feel connected in a sort of twisted, we are all in this black pit together, kind of way. The fact that I know someone understands and had the power to make an amazing song about it gives me faith that we can find our way, but it also terrifies me that, if I do find my way, obviously this person still feels lost. Does the lost ever go away?
3. Tablo - 유통기한 (Expiration Date)
If you haven't heard this song before, just listen to it first before reading the translation (if you don't understand Korean that is). Let the simplicity and slowness of this song wash over you and just feel.
Tablo has gone through so much, is so successful, but has been to the bottom and back. Many of his songs show an insecurity that stems from losing everything and having to fight for everything back with the constant fear of losing it all again.
Lyrically, the song repeats a lot, so there is not much there, but what is said is extremely powerful.
"Even if I look at the clock
I don’t have time, goodbye now
Even if I look at the calendar
I don’t have any memories now
I’m afraid I’ll be a book that no one reads
Music that no one listens to anymore
I’m afraid I’ll be abandoned like a movie playing in an empty theater
Even if I look at the phone
I don’t have any relationships now
Even if I look into the mirror
In there, there’s no confidence now"
That is the entirety of the lyrics. So few, but so powerful. This song makes me cry every time I listen to it, but I had to share it on this list because I connect so much to this. Although i haven't had the loss that Tablo has had, or put out my art for others to consume, I live in constant fear of letting everyone down. Of not being good enough. Of being abandoned. When you leave so much distance between yourself and everyone else out of protection, sure you won't be hurt. But you are alone with yourself. And if you don't like that person, then you are just alone with something you hate, spinning uselessly. I don't know, I just love this song and now I'm in a weird mood because I've listened to it five times in a row writing this.
Those are my three songs. Sorry this whole card is such a downer, but I seem to connect to sad sads instead of happy happy.
Here is a picture of these beautiful boys smiling and being gorgeous to cheer us all up after that rain cloud.
Donggeun, your smile could light up a thousand suns.