2 years ago
jordanhamilton
in English · 1,378 Views
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Are Double Standards Ruining Your Chances Of Finding Love?
As I laid across my bed on speakerphone, I listened to the voice on the other end of the line. We hadn't spoke in what felt like forever, but per usual, he was talking a mile per minute. I didn't mind though, it's always nice to have someone to talk to every now and then. That is until he got on the topic of women and their standards -- double standards to be exact or at least that's how he described it.
He focused on the fact that men have to jump through hoods and climb ladders in order to get a woman to notice them. I was immediately confused because in my mind, if anything, I would say it's the total opposite. Maybe that's just me. Every word he spoke was negative and I was just laying there thinking to myself, 'do all men think this way?' He said, 'It's so easy. Women have the ability to roll out the bed, not comb their hair for three weeks straight looking like Sister Souljah and still get seventeen guys to approach them.' Now as over exaggerated as that statement was, I will agree that some men will appreciate women no matter how they look and that's how it should be -- but the same can be said for men. If anything, men don't have to put in half the effort women do when it comes to maintenance and looks.
Wait, but that's not it.
He finished up by saying that women have this 'I don't care, you're going to love me the way I am or you're not going to love me at all mentality.' I mean, should we not?
Although, 95% of what I was listening to was extremely bias in my personal opinion, he was somewhat correct. Despite his negative views, as women I believe that this sort of love me or leave me mentality is necessary.
So, the question is, where do the double standards that he spoke about in the beginning of the conversation come into play?
According to him, he said a thicker women with a bit more weight on her will believe she deserves any man that walks past her -- but the thick women and/or women in general, won't show a guy with a little belly any love.
And that's where he's wrong.
Maybe from experience that might be the case, but girls love a teddy bear [guy with a little extra meat on his bones]. It's all about surrounding yourself with the right people.
Double standards are common, but when it comes to women and their confidence I believe that you can only be as confident as you choose to be. Same goes for a man. When you exude confidence it shines through. Those women that expect a man to fall like dominoes when they look her way are the same women who expect you [men] to show the same kind of confidence.

Do you think he was overreacting or does he have a point?

I would love to get some feedback. Chime in all.
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@jordanhamilton makes Sense
2 years ago·Reply
10
@ebethoven but everything you're saying goes both ways. And the whole point here is that not ALL women are like X, just like not ALL men are like X. Stereotypes suck and we need to toss them out and rewrite the rules. I may find you interesting and intriguing, simply for who you are, but you aren't noticing because Miss Hottie has been stringing you along with all those demands. It happens ALL THE TIME. Just remember: all the crap that women do that makes a man crazy, men do the same things to women. True story. We have to decide to be better than that bs, imo, and stop playing the stupid games with each other - Both Ways, men And women. Honesty, communication, and sincerity are the absolute keys to successful relationships. :)
2 years ago·Reply
40
YOU BETTER PREACH!!! It definitely goes both ways. We both can work on ourselves [men and women]. It's not just one gender or person that needs to be singled out, like you said -- everything a woman does to make a man crazy, the same goes for a man making a woman crazy. it's a cycle. we just have to work on ourselves at the end of the day and hope for the best. stereotypes should be completely destroyed @ButterflyBlu
2 years ago·Reply
20
We could never eradicate stereotyping or generalizations. We are always generalizing, it is a natural part of our life. Generalizations help us anticipate behavior, mostly to protect ourselves from negative behaviors. The thing that needs to change is people need to be more mindful of the fact that we are always generalizing, and that, as a result, we tend to stereotype. If we are more mindful of these thought patterns, we can learn to say, "Oh, I'm generalizing/stereotyping...how is this limiting my perspective? How do I look past this to see the truth about the individual, instead of my preconceptions about X group?"
2 years ago·Reply
30
Hmmm, that's a different way to look at things. I never thought of it that way. Definitely something to keep in mind in the future @BeannachtOraibh
2 years ago·Reply