AlloBaber
2 years ago10,000+ Views
How To Be An Old Fashioned Gentleman
Does this world have enough old-fashioned gentlemen? The kind of guy who opens doors for his girl, declares his feelings fearlessly, and has conversations in real life rather than over text?
Many would say no. That it's a lost art, and the guys today don't know how to be perfect gentlemen and blow a girl away with their mannerly ways. I disagree – look at guys like @Danse, @Arellano1052, @AkashBhojraj, @InPlainSight, @buddyesd, and @marshalledgar. I think they're pretty amazing, and any lady would be lucky to spend time in their company. 😊
What do you think? Can today's guys kick it in the gentlemanly sphere? Do we need to be doing better as far as raising, being, and loving gentlemen goes?
If you're not sure of what makes up a dapper gent, read on. πŸ˜‰

You make dates memorable.

An evening out with you is something your date never forgets. You plan meticulously, pull out all the stops, and make sure everyone involved has a good time.

You aren't afraid to fall in love – even if it means getting hurt sometimes.

Men and women alike can be way too precious with their hearts. Get out there! Say what you feel, even if you risk getting hurt. Getting your heart broken is a time-honored tradition, and sometimes, the risks of NOT saying something are just too great.

You know how to dress.

Gents of old were pretty darn good at keeping it dapper and classy. The three piece suit, the hat, the subtly eye-catching tie... Today, I'd say the modern equivalent would be cleaning yourself up nice once in a while (especially when you've got somebody special to impress), and knowing how to select clothes that flatter and fit you.

You keep chivalry alive – but apply it to everyone.

Opening doors, pulling out chairs, carrying heavy things for people... these are the stamp of an old-fashioned gentlemen. Some will argue it's sexist to assume that a girl can't carry things for herself, and well, it is – but that's not why you get all chivalrous. It's actually just politeness, and respect, and you don't just reserve it for pretty girls – you lavish it on everybody.
So yes, when an old dude needs some help, you grab a bag or two. And when new friends come over for dinner, you offer to take their coats. Voila – old-fashioned chivalry in a modern age!

You know how to express yourself.

And that means using words. Real, expressive, thought-of-it-yourself words. There's a time and place for profanity, but you know that it doesn't come often. Instead, you use your classy, descriptive, varied vocabulary to say what you mean. Go ahead, turn some heads with your sexy intelligence.

You take pride in your appearance – and your existence.

A true gentleman is impressive because he's always at the top of his game. Sure, he smells good, he's well-groomed, he carries himself with confidence... but more importantly, WAY more importantly, actually, he prides himself on living well. Treating his body right, exercising, cooking for himself; eschewing addiction; working hard and loving what he does; cultivating his mind with books, films, classes, etc... these are maybe the most important qualities of a gentleman.

You're making your way in the world.

You strive for financial independence and emotional health. It's okay if you're not quite there yet, because all of us have some work to do on ourselves, but you're working on it.

You're an amazing partner.

You support your partner in whatever they do, and make them feel amazing, confident, beautiful, worth it. Nothing makes you happier than seeing them happy and successful. You're a generous lover and a kind spirit. But you also know how to blow their mind. ;)

You have a good handle on your emotions.

Gentlemen don't explode in rage. They don't kick walls. They don't take out their negative feelings on others. They don't wallow in despair without seeking help. They don't fight in public, they don't put others down when they're feeling small, and they don't ever mistreat those they love.
Learning to express what you're feeling and deal with negative emotions in a healthy way is a key part of growing up. If you're still not there, then you've still got some growing up to do.
There are a lot of other ways to invest in being a true gentlemen, but I think these come first. You might also want to consider learning more about...
Fitness
Style
Food
Wine
Bartending
Facial Hair
Finances
Politics
Current Affairs
The World In General
These are all good investments. But also, every gentleman is an individual, and follows his inner voice. So don't feel the need to conform to other peoples' idea of a true gentleman; carve out your own. :)
Best of luck, gents! What do you think, did I do a good job capturing the gentleman's true qualities??
39 comments
Omg this was literally a debate last night. My friends and I all stand behind gentlemen. We love chivalry and wish there were more prime examples of this. Guys who act this way, needs to be cherished. Chivalry is an art that is dying. I sure do hope it stays. More gentlemen are needed in this world.
2 years agoΒ·Reply
Wow @jordanhamilton that's so romantic! 😍 Haha aw man @AimeeH I'm sorry I missed it!! I agree that a gentleman is a wonderful thing. The way I respond to those who accuse chivalry of being a sexist institution etc etc is basically how I approached the question above - just apply it to everyone! Stop making it a thing men are supposed to do for women, and accept a little "vice versa" once in a while. ;) I paid for my boyfriend's dinner last night. That just makes me happy and makes me feel like an equal partner. He opened the door for me as we were leaving - that makes him happy, and feel like the amazing BF he is. Point is, politeness and respect are awesome - expressing them doesn't have to fall under defined roles. And yet, some people find comfort and happiness employing those roles, or little parts of them, and that's okay. Every person and every relationship is different. That's part of what makes life so exciting :)
2 years agoΒ·Reply
I think if women want a gentleman then they should act like ladies. If a woman doesn't want to try to be polite and take good care of herself then she shouldn't complain about "chivalry being dead" because it's still there. it's just not being used on her. Sorry I suppose that's pretty blunt lol XD
2 years agoΒ·Reply
@marshalledgar @AlloBaber @ebethoven @jordanhamilton all i can say is that's the way I'm raising my son because that's the way I was raised.
2 years agoΒ·Reply
@AlloBaber Being a gentleman is important and is awesome. Thank you for your kindest gesture. I am really thrilled!! Just carrying a handkerchief is one of the important things you can do for a lady, my buddy asked me just like movie the "Intern", "Why do you carry it?" (He hadn't seen it) ;p but I had an answer, for him, "It's basic chivalry, A lady might need it..." I actually liked your comment about treating every one with respect and grander gestures for one you're dating.. p.s. Awesome card!! Loving it.
2 years agoΒ·Reply
View more comments
102
39
38