2 years ago5,000+ Views
Last night I went to the gym and it was congested, sweaty, and loud. The local gym that I frequent is usually quiet when I stumble into it in a sleepy daze once the sun licks the horizon. My anxiety was through the roof, and I just didn't feel right, so I shook it up with light cardio. My heavy metal music was loud enough to make my ears bleed, but it closed me in and all I saw were the minutes ticking by on the treadmill machine.
I felt slow. I felt weak. I felt tired. I wondered why the fuck I was at a crowded gym when all I wanted was to be alone.
I stomped over to the deadlifting area, and loaded the bar. I didn't count the weights, I just threw them on. I didn't care. All I remember was that I had 45s, 20s, and an erratic number of 5s and 10s choking the barbell.
I pulled the weight and it felt heavy. And I was pissed. I was pissed because even though I didn't count the weight, I knew it couldn't be more than 225 pounds -- a number that I once was able to easily handle. Although I lifted the weight for triples, I felt my form breaking. I mumbled 'fuck you' at the chalked barbell and peeled the weight off of it. I stood over the barbell, staring at it. Tears began swell up so I went to a quiet area to stretch and clear my mind.
I was just having a really bad day. Pulling iron usually offers some relief, but not last night. I failed on the platform, I failed on the treadmill, I failed at keeping focused. I was tough on myself, but not in a way that was at all productive. Sometimes the gym is my sanctuary, but last night it was my hell. But it wasn't the gym that made me mad, it just didn't line up with the expectations I had.

I didn't line up with the expectations I had for myself.

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Hahahaha @invinsybll hilarious
2 years ago·Reply
@InVinsybll well that's one way to avoid gym failures lol
2 years ago·Reply
Okay, that I can certainly relate to. But here the thing: It happens, it's normal and although it feels like sheer humiliation, when it happens to me, I don't make a big fuss out of it. I just wash myself in cold water, take a sauna, take a shower and go on with my day. Sometimes it means you have to change your routine, or maybe do a carb break in your diet, and sometimes it's just that the atmosphere was not right. Don't torture yourself over that.
2 years ago·Reply
For sure. Thanks for the words of wisdom :) @orenshani7
2 years ago·Reply
i like going to the gym and seeing dis dude wearing nice shoes and super super loose ...not gym like...clothes.... on the treadmill dancing... like...this dude dances ALL the time on the treadmill. I literally only go to the gym to watch this motivating spectacle. and smoothies.
2 years ago·Reply