Patmanmeow
2 years ago1,000+ Views
All The Boobs. Stop in today at All the Boobs Furniture store. Customers, shop today and save seventy percent off all designer nipple beds and colored pillows. And check out our new super-size boob mats, complete with nipped and tucked system controls to help you get the comfort you need. And for a limited time only, save fifty percent off plus free shipping on furry man boob chairs. So come on in today and don’t miss these fabulous deals. All The Boobs: making your living oh so squishy.
Hide-A-Body Services. I’m Alfred Manning, co finder of the Hide-A-Body Services. Are you having trouble disposing a corpse or dead animal? Don’t like the methods you’re using and need assistance? Give the bodies to us at Hide-A-Body Services. We have a special on burning and acid dissolving for all major corpses for just nine fifty per body. Plus if you pay for three bodies, the forth one is free of charge for a limited time only. So give us a call and we’ll come by and pick up the bodies. But please, no fingerprints. It’s not exactly tax deductible. Hide-a-body services: Where all the dead people go!
Murphy's Invention Shop. Drop by today for a look at all of our newly shipped collectibles. On sale is a new tactical prediction machine, complete with ocular vision, rotating chain links, and vertical oral plunger switch. We don’t know what the fuck it does, yet we’ll sell it to you anyway! Next, we have new hunger no-more bandage collection. These little patches are designed anywhere on the stomach to relieve unwanted hunger fast. (May cause organ tissue damage). And don’t forget to check out the patented Gristle cream, good for removing rashes, pubic hair and dry bones, but it may cause skin cancer and leprosy. Murphy's invention shop: What doesn’t kill you might just kill you anyway.
8 comments
View more comments
ASKING FOR A FRIEND a dead friend
2 years ago·Reply
I need the hide a body service. They found my stash in the ocean.
2 years ago·Reply
@LuckyTrio Dexter??
2 years ago·Reply
2 years ago·Reply
LMAO I love all of your cards so much. You're one talented writer.
2 years ago·Reply
5
8
2