You probably have this idea in your head of exactly what your future partner is going to be like. We all do. It was put there by years of watching other couples interact – our parents, characters on TV and in movies, etc.
Of course, many of the expectations that we're brought up having for our significant others are just completely unrealistic, and maybe even a little ridiculous. Do you have any of these false ideas about dating?
"She'll be able to read my mind."
You can't expect a girl to instantly know what's on your mind. When something's upsetting you, or you're feeling hurt because of something she's done, then it's your responsibility to communicate that.
Dating is a process of getting to know each other, and learning the other person's communication style and emotional cues. Especially in a new relationship, don't expect her to know exactly what you need and when. You'll need to give her a little help now and then.
"My girlfriend is going to be better at relationships than I am."
Sometimes guys assume that girls are natural-born relationships experts. This is so far from true. We're just as clueless as you are – but also just as eager to figure it all out along the way.
Just because she's a lady doesn't mean she's any more skilled than you are at handling all these so-called "emotions" n' stuff. Fun fact: I've been the less emotional partner in nearly all of my relationships.
"We're a great match, so we'll never argue." (OR, "Arguments are a bad sign.")
No way! Arguing is totally natural and totally healthy. In fact, it's not whether you have them, but HOW you have them that matters.
Communication is one of the most important factors in any relationship – the way you and your boo resolve conflicts can be looked at as representative of how your entire relationship will go. Do you kiss and make up at the end of the day? Does your partner's happiness trump whatever little issue you're discussing? Do you both prize the relationship over being right?
When you don't agree (which is inevitable!), how you work it out defines the health of your relationship.
"She'll do me like a porn star."
Sorry fellas, but no girl (except for maybe an actual porn star) is going to match the expectations set up by porn. Girls aren't creatures that exist for your gratification; they're real, human people, just like you. And intimacy doesn't work the way it's shown in porn, either. It's not as flashy, or dramatic, or as much of a performance (because that's what porn is – a performance).
Don't hold your girlfriend to the unrealistic standards set by what you see online. Don't hold yourself to them either. If you do, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
"She won't take as long as other girls to get ready, because she's cool/low maintenance."
It's the fantasy, right? A cool, low maintenance girl who looks as good as a high maintenance one. Well... I'm sorry to break it to you, but odds are, it's not going to happen. Some women have the natural beauty thing all figured out, but the truth is, most of the time when the women in ads look "au naturale," they're actually wearing a ton of makeup.
If your gal takes a little more time getting ready than you do, trust that it's because she wants to look good for herself and for you, and not because she's vain or high maintenance.
"I'll be able to fix all her problems for her."
Sorry, but no. You might want to be her knight in shining armor, who rides in to make her happy whenever she's sad, but unfortunately, you won't be able to fix every problem she encounters – nor should you try.
In fact, instead of trying to help, sometimes the best thing to do is just listen. And if she needs to cry, just hold her. Sometimes being sad and letting your emotions out is the healthiest thing you can do.
If you've got any questions, I'd be happy to answer them below! Let me know, girls and guys, what you think of this list. Which are true for you? Which do you disagree with?
If you're new to the community, I encourage you to check out the Community Guidelines before posting.
And if you'd like even more exciting love tips, check out my collection, Flirting Tips for Guys!