2 years ago100+ Views
Relive the Great Sport of Podracing in Halo 5!!!
Here's a thought that crosses everyone's mind at least once a day, "Man, those Star Wars prequels were pretty horrible but you know what was awesome? PODRACING WAS AWESOME WE NEED MORE OF THAT."
And you're right disembodied thought that I just made up. We do need more podracing in our lives [no we don't]. Sure we got that one podracing video game for the N64 [it was horrible] but we need more! We need something with updated graphics and... and... Halo 5!
Two things that always sell are Sex and Nostalgia. And look at this, we've got both of those things in this one Forge Map! We've got these sexy-ass sexy Podracers made out of weird Halo things and we got Master Chief, the oldest helmet in all of video games (also the sexiest).
Look at it in action. Doesn't it look amazing? Doesn't that look like something you want to spend hours doing? [no it doesn't] Listen, I know I'm not the best writer or gamesmen in the country, I know I'm not Gustave Flaubert but I'm trying over here. Remember that one book he wrote about the podracing?
Do you remember how sexy and nostalgic it was? DO YOU? [no I don't] Do you remember when things were easier, when people wouldn't have to be obviously be crazy or insane or very much not themselves in order to interact with others? Do you remember a time when those same people didn't loser their minds because they're constantly looking for attention from people on the Internet.
The Internet! What a place! It's somewhere you can go but never truly visit. It's a place I spend most of my life but I can't even describe what it looks like! We live in such a beautiful world FILLED WITH PODRACERS AND HALO AND WEBSITES AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS.