AlloBaber
2 years ago1,000+ Views

Many people say no right off the bat. But some people insist: they CAN work (for the right couple anyway).

An "open relationship" can mean a lot of different things, ranging from swingers, monogamous-ish couples who have an understanding, couples who are free to pursue whoever they want, and more.
Many couples say that the key is establishing very clear ground rules – and sticking to them.
The arguments for open relationships include things like:
+ "Monogamy is so old fashioned! Who wants to sleep with just one partner for the rest of their life?"
+ "Being free to pursue other people sexually keeps me more satisfied in my marriage. My husband is still and will always be my number one guy."
+ "Getting with other people makes me appreciate my partner even more."
+ "I got married young. I still have a lot of experimenting to do."
+ "I only see my partner some of the time, because we live so far from each other. Being in an open relationship lets us satisfy our needs while staying together."
The arguments against, of course, are numerous. Some people balk at the idea of their partner wanting to be with someone else, or sharing something so intimate with anyone but them.

What about you?

If you had the chance, would you want to give an open relationship a try?

I'm super interested to see what the Vingle community has to say, because I have friends who argue passionately for both sides of this issue. Let me know your thoughts and your reasoning. :) I'm tempted to say a big N.O., but before I give my opinion I want to hear from you guys first...
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@EasternShell exactly what you said :) Open relationships are agreed to by both parties and shaped by rules that both people set. Cheaters BREAK the rules of their relationship, and betray their partner's trust. I'm sorry that happened to you, by the way. :( It hasn't happened to me that I've known of, but I'm sure it's a hard thing to come back from... Like @humairaa I'm a bit of a jealous girl, :) so I know it probably would be a very difficult thing for me to stomach unless I was able to put those feelings aside thanks to being ABSOLUTELY confident in my relationship with my S.O. in every way. Of course, as you said @shannonl5, open relationships aren't for everyone – but neither is monogamy. I like that. Different individuals and partnerships absolutely have different needs, and just because it wouldn't work for one couple doesn't mean it wouldn't work for another. I think the biggest takeaway from that is that people need to stop telling other people what's good for them, and start celebrating the ways in which we're all different. :) What a boring world it would be if we were all the same!! :D @marionette2613 That's super cool. I'm really glad you commented, because it's so neat to hear the perspective of someone actually in an open relationship, especially one that works so well! That's pretty cool that you guys are so great at communicating and keeping each other in the loop with what's going on. I would argue that an open relationship couple probably have to be better at communication than a traditional couple! XD
It's entirely dependant on the people involved and open communication is a must. I am in an open relationship currently and have been in this relationship for four years. I travel a lot for work, and my boyfriend and I are both allowed to see others. We communicate every step of the way, both with each other & any others we get involved with to keep an open understanding. A lot of people don't get it, or want to have that in a relationship and that is totally ok. As for fear about it interfering with intimacy I can say for me personally it does not - my boyfriend is my best friend, my number one and priority.
I've been with a few people that were in open relationships and for the people where it worked, there was not just trust but communication. They were clear with each other about what was okay and what wasn't. For the people where it wasn't working they'd sort of treated opening their relationship as a way to solve other problems instead of addressing them. Or they weren't honest about how they both felt. So it can be done. It might not be for everyone, but neither is monogamy
Anonym
Been there, done that, not my thing. First of all - Trust needs to be ironclad on both sides. Confidence - needs to be bulletproof on both sides and confidence that the other side won't pick up any nasties too. Honestly, once you've been married 100 years, it might work, but right off thr bat you're unlikely to have all the attributes to make it work.
@marionette2613 :DDD <3 yay! So glad you appreciated :) I love talking about all these things haha. I don't know if you can tell, but the world of love and relationships is something of a passion for me... 😅
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