Arellano1052
2 years ago1,000+ Views
Rant for the Night/Morning
*start rant* So, as I sit here wrapping the present I got (mentally thought of, went out and purchased) for my dad...to give to my mom from him to my mom for her birthday today, Feb 10th, I started thinking. I know for certain my father loves my mother. I know my mother loves my father. I also know that they're not happy. Which solidifies a few of my thoughts. Just because you love somebody, does not mean you have to act on it. Just because you love somebody, doesn't mean you should be with them. Love is not enough. It's a start, but it doesn't translate anywhere close to compatibility. Yes, I understand that you're never going to find the "perfect" one. I know this. You always have to weigh the good and the bad. Because we all have them. Maybe you don't like the way he pops his knuckles while you're talking, distracting you, making you feel like he's not fully committed to the conversation. Maybe she shakes her leg while trying to fall asleep, bugging the hell out of you while YOU'RE trying to sleep. Maybe he stops texting you for days at a time. Maybe she doesn't stop texting other people while you're together. BUT. But, how when he smiles, how when she laughs, how when he makes a mistake, he tries to play it off nonchalantly, how when she gets that smirk before launching a witty comeback, how everything seems to always fall into place and feels right around them, regardless of it all. Because their good outweighs their bad. How the little things they do are so special and endearing that you don't want to ever go without them. How even on the worst days when you're both at your worst and you're both pissed off and tired and exhausted from work and life, and you're arguing with each other because, "God dammit, do you ever pay attention to me?!? I told you three days ago!!" And you're still able to appreciate everything they do, you're still able to work through it all and still be together because you WANT to, not because you feel obligated, not because you feel you HAVE to for various reasons, THAT is actual, true compatibility. From that, love grows. From that, happiness is perpetual and sincere. Besides having a kid, me, and both being stubborn, I have no idea how my parents are together. Multiple times, my parents have said that once I'm out of the house for good, they're breaking up lol They have the divorce papers in a file next to the computer. Any who, anybody who knows my mother, knows that she loves cute things. Not even expensive. If you travel somewhere? A magnet is the best thing ever. I'll say that again: IF YOU BUY HER A $4 MAGNET, SHE'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER. She loves little gifts that tell her that you're thinking about her. Mothers day, valentines day, her birthday, Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, all things she loves. She likes traveling. She loves the beach, cold weather, snow. Very vocal and expressive about love. My Dad? Total opposite. Don't ever give him Surprise gifts. He wants something specific, and only that. And once a year is fine. Holidays? pft. Just extra paid days off. He couldn't care less. I love you? I've heard those words come out of his mouth four times in my life. And one of those was when they got married. He's comfortable here and doesn't want to go anywhere. Ever. All she wants for her birthday/valentines day is a small bear or a few flowers or something cute and cheesy. I told my dad, got shut down. "Uh, no. It's your mom. She hates those things." 21 fucking years, and you don't know your own wife? 21 years and you can't take a few hours 7 times a year to make her happy? You can't take her to the beach? Take her up 74. Drive her along the coast. Do something!! Sheesh. And the saddest part is, that she'll play happy so he feels good about himself, but after he goes to bed, or a few days later, she'll tell me that she knew that I'm the one who did everything and that she wished that just once, he would surprise her himself to show he really cares. I do not want that, nor am I that way. I think I'm quite straightforward. I love spoiling and giving gifts. I love surprising. I don't mind traveling or staying at home curled up. I don't mind cooking or cleaning. I love sarcasm. I love organization. I would rather not get gifts, but I don't mind. I'll appreciate anything. I appreciate openness. I don't mind arguing. I love the holidays. I get jealous. I have ambitions. I don't like being stagnant. I don't like drugs. I don't like not improving. I have goals. I occasionally take stupid risks. I fully dedicate and expect the same. I could go on, but the type of person I am compatible with is obvious. And I think it's important for people to find out who they are and how they are, and figure out what they want. At least a general outline. What are musts, what are not? What are your absolute no-no's? What do you want? Now, what do you realistically want?! Just because you love somebody, does not mean you have to act on it. Just because you love somebody, doesn't mean you should be with them. Love is not enough. Love doesn't equal compatibility. Love doesn't solve problems, it delays them. Love doesn't guarantee successful relationships, it just extends them. Love doesn't mean squishing your desires and wants to be with somebody. Compatibility and synergy are more important, and with them, love becomes healthy and sincere. *end rant*
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A lot of times, too, people are too scared to be alone. So they settle. Ahhh, again, Brandon, we were just talking about this. It started on a card here and then Rob and I were talking about it. Let me find the link.
2 years agoReply
https://www.vingle.net/posts/1402225?isrc=v I think people don't give themselves the time to figure out what they really want or need because there's some urgency in the idea of being with someone...ANYONE...even if it's the wrong someone, simply because they can't face themselves alone. That idea is TOO much. I have a girl friend that is the worst in that area and it has always driven me batty. Know yourself and love yourself so that you can then present the best version of yourself to the person that you choose to love. I know it sounds kinda cliche, but there's a reason for that; it's actual, sound wisdom. Of course, that being said, I feel like I'm preaching to the choir, considering how many times you've ironed my crap out. >.< lol 馃挏
2 years agoReply
I can relate so much!!! My parents are the same way except that my dad assigns my sister and I the task of getting my mom gifts usually. And man are you awesome!!! seriously b忙馃槏 lol
2 years agoReply
@MichelleHolly I never got a notification for this/you!! I apologize /.\ and =/ Are you (two) okay with being in charge of that? Does your mom know what's really happening?
2 years agoReply
@Arellano1052 Yeah she knows. It's common knowledge for our family that the men aren't the best gift givers
2 years agoReply
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