I just started this new show called, "Crazy Ex Girlfriend," and while you might be turned off by the title, it's actually fabulous. It calls out a billion stereotypes and sexism in modern society....also it's a musical show so that's a perk.
But it got me thinking about the term "crazy ex girlfriend." Think about it-- how many times in pop culture and even internet culture do we see that archetype used?
When you think of the "crazy ex," a lot of us would imagine a crazy girl who is obsessed with a dude, right? We imagine a girl that stalks and uses social media to track and follow their ex.
The "psycho" that is too obsessive. I've seen this used in so many shows/movies: Orange is the New Black, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Downton Abbey, and even How I Met Your Mother.
I even experience the opposite of this during a breakup.
When I was going through a rough breakup with a guy that I was seeing, he used to stalk my social media and call me out. One time he reached out to me and told me not to talk about guys on social media, "Because I had no right to hurt his feelings like that!"
Excuse me, I can do whatever I want.
But when I reached out to my guy friends, I told them my situation. Their response was mostly, "aww well he's hurting." "Maybe you should give it a rest."
Would the situation be the same if it was reversed? Or would I be the "crazy ex girlfriend?"
The show crazy Ex Girl Friend deconstructed the term in the intro lyrics:
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend! - What? No, I'm not.
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend! - That's a sexist term.
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend! - Can you guys stop singing for just one second?
She's so broken inside!
The situation is lot more nuanced than that!
Exactly, the situation could have many layers that the other person isn't seeing.