I just wrote about Pinegrove last Friday and because of that I found out that they recently came out with an album called Cardinal. It has newer versions of some of the songs on Everything So Far (which is the reason I picked it up) but there's one song on the record that resonates with me so much and it's called Aphasia.
There's something relatable about the feeling of absolutely needing someone else in order to find your happiness. And with Valentine's Day hanging out in my rear-view mirror the theme of needing someone else has been weighing heavily on my mind. I spent a lot of my youth throwing my heart at almost everyone I saw. I didn't have the ability to see myself without someone else.
I used the phrase "You complete me" too often and meant it. Even now, I still struggle with the feeling of being not being whole since I'm not in a relationship. I've found myself in places where I had thought I could see myself with someone else for a long time. But like most of my romantic endeavors that one also ended abruptly. So when I heard Aphasia and how the song is about -- to me anyway -- finally freeing yourself from that idea that you need someone to be happy, I felt one step closer to actually believing that. There's really something raw and honest about this band so don't be surprised if I continue to write about their songs and how they've affected my life. Their honesty is something that I've been lacking and I'm glad their lyrics have helped me start the search for my own honesty.
Now what you've got was in your reaches all along. Plus one day you’ll be reaching for me and I’ll be gone. So, to help remind myself I wrote this little song. One day I won’t need your love. One day I won't define myself by the one I’m thinking of. And if one day I don't need it, then one day I won't need it.