I don't know how relatable this experience is but I've listened to this song, 53% Accurate by Into It. Over It. tons of times. For a while, I'd listen to lyrics and try to put my own thoughts and feelings into it. I'd interpret the lyrics in a way that would best fit my own situation and what was going on in my life during that particular moment.
But there was one moment I had when I was in a relationship that made this song resonate with me even more. I remember I was in the passenger seat of my partner's car as we drove through suburban New York and this song came on. We didn't speak for most of the car ride and as this one started to play, we both started to get a little glossy eyed as it went on.
We were leaving a drug store and on the way back home. We had picked up bottles of soda, cigarettes, and a pregnancy test. We were the type who tried our best to stay safe and use protection at all times. And I'm not trying to make excuses for either of us but we found ourselves in a particular situation where one was necessary. We had conversations about what we would do and if we did one thing over the other, we talked about how we'd tell our families. It was one of the more stressful moments of our lives. And even though we felt infinitely alone during that car ride, we were happy this song came on because it let us know that we weren't the only ones who had to take this silent and stoic car ride back home.
I've seen this look on faces two other times before. Full of sickness with signs of terror on my front porch. You drove it all the way home and parked on the shop's bathroom floor, to send a message to my pocket which should have said, "These tests are hardly accurate". Oh please, don't let this get the best of me. It's probably nothing. It has got to be nothing. A perfect chance to right my wrongs where I've made mistakes before. In stoic anticipation on my front porch. But our teeth are sore in places from the bullet we haven't bit. So I'll ball my hands into fists to take the shaking from my fingertips.