I sometimes hear my friends say things like, "oh she is totally settling, she could do better than him." or "yep, I decided it's ok for me to settle. I'm desperate."But what does that even mean? Honestly, what are you saying when you say you are settling?
Urban dictionary has a weird way of putting it:
This is a phenomenon experienced by guys at colleges with a low number of female students. It is characterized by delusions and hallucinations in which fat, horrendous-looking women appear to be attractive to the unsuspecting male victim.
Uh, sounds like "taking advantage or under appreciating" women if you ask me.
But here's what I think "settling" means
The TV Show "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" almost mocks the idea of settling by comparing it bizarre second-choice situations.
"If he's the broken condom, I'm your Plan B."
It almost seems bizarre that you would do that instead of just picking the first option.
Why is you deciding to pick a partner that doesn't necessarily make all of your checklist mean you are "settling"?
Why I Believe there is No Such Thing as Settling
Every person works their own way into the dating world, prioritizing different things. For example: you can prioritize the "coolness" factor of your partner or the "ability to settle down with" your partner. You can rate and pick someone over looks rather than similar interests. You can spend day analyzing if you are with the right person or if you are "settling."
But here's the thing ---
Settling isn't just "settling" but instead a reevaluation of priorities. Decide what you are able to deal with and what you aren't. Though some qualities might not line up all the time, that just means you weigh your traits differently. You aren't settling.