a year ago
nicolejb
in English · 1,150 Views
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Why I Don't Believe in "Settling"
I sometimes hear my friends say things like, "oh she is totally settling, she could do better than him." or "yep, I decided it's ok for me to settle. I'm desperate."But what does that even mean? Honestly, what are you saying when you say you are settling?
Urban dictionary has a weird way of putting it:
Settling
This is a phenomenon experienced by guys at colleges with a low number of female students. It is characterized by delusions and hallucinations in which fat, horrendous-looking women appear to be attractive to the unsuspecting male victim.
Uh, sounds like "taking advantage or under appreciating" women if you ask me.

But here's what I think "settling" means

www.youtube.com
The TV Show "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" almost mocks the idea of settling by comparing it bizarre second-choice situations.

"If he's the broken condom, I'm your Plan B."

It almost seems bizarre that you would do that instead of just picking the first option.
Why is you deciding to pick a partner that doesn't necessarily make all of your checklist mean you are "settling"?

Why I Believe there is No Such Thing as Settling

Every person works their own way into the dating world, prioritizing different things. For example: you can prioritize the "coolness" factor of your partner or the "ability to settle down with" your partner. You can rate and pick someone over looks rather than similar interests. You can spend day analyzing if you are with the right person or if you are "settling."

But here's the thing ---

Settling isn't just "settling" but instead a reevaluation of priorities. Decide what you are able to deal with and what you aren't. Though some qualities might not line up all the time, that just means you weigh your traits differently. You aren't settling.
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Totally, I'll just wait for that girl who'll buy me a coloring book :) lol @nicolejb
a year ago·Reply
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@nicolejb I guess over time people realise that perfection isn't always attainable, and that the special someone might not be every item on a checklist....and sometimes the checklist wasn't what they wanted or needed at all
a year ago·Reply
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AGREEED! Great piece haha
a year ago·Reply
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I'm telling you @RafaelRese18!! those adult coloring books exist!! (@TessStevens:) I guess what I really meant to say is if you think you are "settling" it's probably because you have way to much on your list of priorities, and should be opening to see how things going on when you decide to be in a relationship. if that makes sense.
a year ago·Reply
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