Patmanmeow
2 years ago1,000+ Views
The strange realm of entering and exiting a new relationship
It's an average day at work where everyone is busy prepping, and cooking, and serving hungry costumers who have come back from service or their jobs, and our filling their stomachs. The kitchen is almost dark, as the power has gone out for a total of three hours. Then as time goes by, without a warning, the entire power is out in the restaurant. I was ready to head home if the lights and machines wouldn't work for sometime, until she, who will not be named, came along and said "hi" to me. She was warm about it than the previous times she has done this to me. It started on Valentine's Day. A dark metaphor in which I was living in, with the lights out and into a new realm. While everyone is waiting in the front room awaiting instructions, she comes up to me next to the lockers and asks, "Why are you so quiet?" I say, "Is Hello Kitty your official mascot?" pointing to the little notebook in her apron. It was an accelerated conversation. After talking about our hobbies for what seemed like a minute long, she gave me her number. And for the next week until this day, it would've been an experiment for both of us who are finding our own sense of purpose without the merit equivalence of keeping our interests in each other a bound and know we couldn't stay for a long time due to our lives being distracted by accomplishments. But we tried. As someone who has gone off the deep end of developing loving relationships, I never had the thought of going back into it because of my self discovery as a young adult. It was like going through a test in hopes you have enough points to pass the time until you've used them all up and think if you should go back and make the grade even higher. I couldn't tell if I wanted to appreciate my results, but with this girl, and the number of times and fewer words we've spoken, it was a lost cause that made us accept our qualities of we were truly going through. She has two jobs, I have two jobs. She is moving somewhere else, I'm staying where I am with my career and writing. And yet, we were the same, and wondered if there were multiple people like us who have the same obstacles. I'll admit, I was nervous getting back into creating something I'd knew wouldn't last long, but just to get an idea of how I've come in this life and taking advantage of going back and experience again in order to learn the pros and cons of relationship. I felt jitters in my stomach, my voice stuttering quietly, and my nobleness is as bittersweet like tangerine. But here's where the strange part comes in. It was the first time in a long age where I can see someone, who has gone through a phase of shyness, and frustration, and exhaustion, and has given me a piece of her perspective of her world and I would give a piece of my own and know that we are both survivors of mischievous fortunes and work up the courage to make our lives better by telling each other we need to pursue our lives and make it better. She wants to go back to school and work in occupational therapy, and I told her that I want to write and publish my works, and start a writing company and movement, and maybe teach others how to read and write and analyze literature. That it was okay for us to be like this and would be okay to actually try something out, even if it was going to be a week long full of quick touches, and fewer hugs, and asking each other how our days were. There was hardly any commitment that was fulfilled, and yet we gave it our best. We gave each other courage. Shallow, I know, and while it was odd, it gave me a chance to understand the shameless experience of applying myself in a realm in which I vowed not to go back to again due to my awkward, inexperienced guide and not to mention, heighten anxiety that has kept me from going back and making the same mistakes again, and knowing that it wasn't all about when will the next time be when we can see each other, or if we can hang and goof around. It was about making ourselves better than what we originally imagined. This one was not good, or bad, or ugly... It was appreciative.
3 comments
I don't think it's shallow! It was a moment of connection. ^_^
2 years ago·Reply
@shannonl5 Yeah I know, it was just nerve-wrecking for me.
2 years ago·Reply
@Patmanmeow understandably! But it sounds like you walked away with something important
2 years ago·Reply
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