nicolejb
3 years ago10,000+ Views
I'm going to move into more developed relationship questions. In this instance the couple has been together for a while, but they keep fighting. Is it just me or once the initial "honeymoon" phase is done, that's when the real relationship begins.
Here's an example of a issue that came up...
Q: Me and my gf have been in a relationship for 6 months now. And it's been really great. The only thing is we keep getting in dumb fights. Either i did something wrong or she did something that urked me. I want to be open and tell her when things upset me, but it seems like we are just getting on each others nerves now! How do I get things back to where they were before? We didn't care about the little stuff, we only were interesting in having fun together. I guess how do I get passed this petty-argument phase, and get things back to just enjoying life together?
Love advice gurus let's get to it!!!
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They probably need to step back and do some self analysis first, then look at their relationship with each other from a different perspective. Then hopefully, once they both realized what's been happening, they'll both be able to talk it over calmly. And they both discuss a solution or a compromise. On the side note; some arguments can also be healthy for a relationship (as long as it's not excessive), it's a way of getting each other better.
People fight over petty things because, typically, they don't want to tackle the big issue(s), whatever it/they might be. So, in a very passive-aggressive, sort of way, couples engage in bickering and picking at each other for stupid stuff because it's easy to fight about and be "right" about. I think you two need to peel back what's REALLY going on. Petty fighting is 99% a symptom of a bigger problem. Work out the big problem and you'll quickly notice the little things vanish.
yeah it might be a combo of what you said @marshalledgar that their might be something else underneath it that they haven't discovered or dove into yet, or it might just be what you said @JimTurpen they are taking things a little to personally and need to recognize that not everyone is perfect.
You two need to sit down and talk about how you both really feel without fighting, having a friend as and arbitrary there when you two might talk would help. Couples therapy wouldn't hurt either.
I agree with @marshalledgar so think hard about whether or not something big went unresolved or there is something big she hasn't told you bothered her. you're probably getting out of the honeymoon phase so if it's not something big it's because you now are in the transition phase between ignoring the things that annoyed you because you were love struck and eventually learning to live and love your partners odd quirks and since 6 months is still not super long there are going to be a lot more things you learn about your partner that will make you cringe or smile lol It's like the relationship hump. Either you both decide it's still worth it and you find a middle ground on the things you each do that bother the other or it may not work. For this sake I'm going to say we ignore the worry about it not working because you're concerned which shows this could be a definite fix.
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