nicolejb
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Q8: Boyfriend does "nice" things that I don't want!

Sometimes even communication can't fix something, you can talk and talk but it might not make a difference in the problem. This one instance might require a bit more creativity in solving, that's why I'm asking the experts!!

Can't wait to hear what you have to come up with!

Q: I don't want to sounds like a jerk when I say this, so let me give you a bit of context. Me and my bf are in college, both paying our way through with jobs on the side. We have limited time together, and limited money for dates. That being said, my bf is extremely sweet. He will buy me steak dinners and cook for me, or get me expensive things (last year he got me a new iPhone!). BUT all these nice things are starting to get me to worry. He already has a hard time with money. I've expressed to him that he doesn't need to buy me stuff OVER and OVER, but he refuses to listen. I'm worried he's putting me first and it's going to come back to bite him at some point. I told him before, so is their an even a better way to express I want him to take care of his own money? Or is there a sneaky way I can give him his money back?
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Totally agree with @Bobs and @SeoInHan!! You gotta express that the little things (inexpensive gestures, like handwritten notes, flowers, or just plain ol' quality time) are the things that matter most to you. He needs to respect your wishes. Be frank and honest and that should be all that's necessary!!
@AlloBaber to be honest, @Bobs and my advice could be read in paragraph form almost as if they were one :D
just be frank with him and tell him that the gifts are too pricey!! but let him know you really do appreciate them and that gifts don't need a value in them in order for them to be good!
you can tell him that you love him no matter how many things he buys and convince him to sell the more expensive stuff and reassure him that he has to save money for his future
I can see how it can be frustrating. Plus, even though he may be coming from a good place, this kind of behavior needs to be put in check. He's lucky that you're concerned. Another woman wouldn't mind milking him dry. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, but you don't know what your future with him will be. You may not spend your life together. It would suck if he met someone who takes advantage of his generosity. So you need to have to have a serious talk with him. That you don't want to hurt his feelings, and that you do appreciate what he does, but that he needs to slow down. That he doesn't need to show his affection for you with material things. That you're not the type of person who places a lot of weight in those things, and that him working towards his future is what makes you happy.
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