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Tore Up

I had a rough night.
Those of you who know me know I have an anxiety disorder. Well, it was flying last night, and it wasn't backing down.
When it gets that bad, I try to concentrate on other things like my cats, tv, doing things on my phone, playing games, anything to move my mind in another direction. But my anxiety was like,"Haha! Nope. I'm going to make you think every bad thought, feel every crappy emotion, and there's NOTHING you can do about it!" And it did.
I felt scared, so scared,scared of everything. My mind was filled with thoughts of bad things happening, thoughts like: am I having a heart attack, why can't I breath well, I shouldn't lay on my left side, I need to stretch my body, maybe my muscles are just tight, is it because the tv is on?, should I change positions?, should I get up?
I take a sleep aid, it had already kicked in, so being extremely tired and not be able to fall asleep wasn't helping at all. Then falling asleep here and there for just a few minutes, I was having bad dreams. My dreams are extremely vivid. They are so clear and I remember every dream I have. In fact, whatever I am feeling in my dreams is how I feel when I wake up.
Now the logical part of it all: I was hot last night. I can't sleep when I'm hot. If the blankets aren't wrapped around my neck, I can't fall asleep. It was too hot to cover up. I couldn't move around: my cats sleep right up against my legs, one on each side, so I was uncomfortable and stiff. I had no room to stretch out: I had no room to put my arms above my head and stretch them out.
I told my a**hole husband this morning about it, that I felt scared, and he gave me his" you're crazy" look. I wanted to slap that nasty look right off his face!
So, today is going to be "me day." I am going to do nice things for myself, love myself, and bring myself back up. I am going to do whatever I please, and I don't want to hear a damn word about it from the a**hole in the other room!
@jlee37 I'll mentally hug ya😊😊
@buddyesd I love being hugged but I don't get any, so I hug my body pillow.
the sleep part lol but i hate sleeping with the covers too tight but i dont mind being hugged all night for some reason :D
@buddyesd Which part? Lol
@buddyesd I need to do that for 7 days straight lol
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펌) 이사 준비할 때 꿀팁 10가지
이사 준비하면 진짜 정신 1도 없지 않음? 이런거 하나 클립해놓고 언젠가는 필요할 때 꼭 참고해서 알뜰살뜰 완.벽.한 이사하자 1. 이사날짜 선정 몇 군데 이사업체 견적을 봐보시면 느끼실 거에요. 주말, 평일, 말일에 따라서 가격이 많게는 50만원까지 차이가 납니다. 되도록 손없는 날이 아닌 월~목요일(평일)이 가장 저렴하더라구요. 2. 우편물 주소 이전 (http://www.ktmoving.com) 따로 우체국을 갈 필요없이 한번에 변경해주는 서비스입니당 회원가입없이 사용 가능하고 주소변경 희망일을 지정할 수 있어요 이사 가는 다음날로 지정해주시면 좋을듯 합니다. 변경 신청하고 3~7일정도 지난 후에 신청결과를 문자나 이메일로 받아볼수 있어요. 3. 가구배치 시뮬레이션 (https://www.floorplanner.com) 이사가기 전에 가전가구를 어디다가 어떻게 배치할지 한눈에 볼수 있어요. 전문가가 아니라도 가상으로 쉽게 집도면을 그려 배치를 해볼 수 있는 사이트입니다 (이케아에 있는 시스템이랑 비슷해요) 무료사용 가능하구요, 아쉽게도 영문버전밖에 없네요 4. 우수이사업체 허가정보 사이트 활용 -국토교통부 정식주선허가업체 (http://24market.oco.kr 국토교통부 정식주선허가 시스템으로 출발지를 입력하면 인근에 우수업체를 선발해줍니다. -역경매식 업체비교 (http://24platform.oco.kr 대한민국 이사연합에서 한번에 비교받고 3개에 업체를 자동으로 선별해서 문자로 바로 쏴주더라구요. 업체를 3군데가 한번에 와서 견적서 주고가니 편리하더라구요. 5. 폐가전 무상방문수거 서비스 (http://www.edtd.co.kr) 구청에 돈내고 스티커 받아서 버려야 되는데 돈이들죠. 폐가전 배출예약시스템을 이용하면 직접와서 갖고가니 편리하고, 돈도 안들고, 빈곤층에 전달된다니 1석3조네요. 6. 헌옷 무료수거업체 이용 (http://www.beautifulstore.org) 미니멀라이프가 대세이니 이번에 안입는 옷이나 식기류, 골동품류를 정리하는 기회로 삼으면 좋을듯 합니다. 적은돈이지만 돈도 받을 수 있구요. 아름다운가게는 3박스 이상이면 무료수거해가고 연말 소득공제도 된답니다. 7. 남은 종량제봉투 이사날에 맞춰서 쓰레기 종량제봉투를 딱 맞춰쓰진 못하자나요. 남는건 두고오거나 주변사람에게 주고오는 일이 많은데, 주민센터에서 스티커를 받아서 붙여쓰면 계속 사용이 가능하대요 8. 장기수선충당금 받기 다소 행소한 용어일지 모르는데, 아파트 세입자의 경우 도색공사, 노후배관, 엘리베이터 보수를 위해서 오랜기간동안 미리 입주인들에게 돈을 모아서 수리를 한다고하네요. 이사 갈때 돌려받을수 있으니 관리비고지서를 체크해서 받아가시길 바래요. 9. 전입신고 및 확정일자 받기 -전입신고 (http://www.gov.kr -확정일자 (http://www.iros.go.kr) 인터넷으로 민원24에서 전입신고, 인터넷등기소에서 확정일자를 받을 수 있어요. 두말하면 입아플정도로 중요하니 필히 확인하시길 (전월세만 해당) 10. 포장이사 피해상담 (http://www.ccn.go.kr) 포장이사 소비자피해가 2년간 25%씩 증가추세라니 계약서와 이사 후 꼼꼼하게 확인하고, 혹시나 물품의 파손, 분실, 계약불이행 등의 상황이 발생했을 시 증거를 수집해 소비자상담센터(국번없이 1372)에서 상담을 받아 해결 할 수 있습니다. 기타 - 등기부등본 재확인 - 이체한도 증액해두기 (잔금치룰때 난처한 상황이 올 수 있음) - 자녀가 있다면 미리 전학수속 (중고등학생 :전학용 재학증명서, 등본, 전입학배정원서) - 이사 시 곤돌라,엘리베이터, 이사차량 공간 및 사용협조 - 필요시 입주청소(청소업체 찾는 플랫폼 http://cleanmania.oco.kr) - 공과금정산 (도시가스,수도,전기) - 새로 이사갈집 설치날짜 예약 (TV, 인터넷, 정수기, 에어컨 등) - 세탁소, 수선집에 안 찾은 옷 있는지 체크 - 귀중품 관리 (여행용캐리어에 담아 잠구고 따로 보관) - 여분의 현금준비 (공과금정산 등 자잘하게 돈쓸일 생김) - 이사할 때 물품사진 찍어두기(손상,훼손,분실 등 배상증거) - 도어락 비밀번호 변경 <요약> D-60  이사날짜 선정, 전학수속,이사형태 결정 및 업체선정 (http://24market.oco.kr), (http://24platform.oco.kr) D-30 이체한도 상향, 이사업체 방문견적, 가전가구 배치확인 (https://www.floorplanner.com) D-14 주소변경서비스(http://www.ktmoving.com) 시설 사용협조, 대형폐가전수거(http://www.edtd.co.kr) 헌옷방문수거 (http://ww.beautifulstore.org) 입주청소(http://cleanmania.oco.kr) D-3  등기부등본 재확인, 도시가스 확인, 세탁소확인, D-1 장기수선충당금, 종량재봉투 재활용, 현금준비 D-Day 공과금 정산 여분의 현금준비 사진찍기 도어락 비번변경 추가설치 예약확인 전입신고(http://www.gov.kr) 확정일자(http://www.iros.go.kr)
Cover up (Fairy Tail analysis)
Once upon a time, there was an anime series that presented a world of magic, knights, talking creatures, and sweaty people with rare dice. There isn’t any in this realm, but there are other shenanigans running around in Magnolia and within the Fairy Tail guild, such as fish, and ass kicking. This was a show I wasn’t fond of, but of course like all interesting aspects of storytelling, there is one that kept my thinking as I watched the characters progressed and that is the outfits and how they cover up the vulnerabilities, leading to empathy from the audience. Magic is the most useful element carried out by members of the Fairy Tail guild and each one wears certain types of clothes. The classes show different magic powers and helps them become capable of handling situations with no problem, but when all magic energy drains, the battles between mages ends up submissive. That’s when the emotional side of the mages start to show, which gives them an extra boost during a time of either losing or dying. This is when we get to see the main characters open up. Not only do the outfits and classes represent who they are, but also allows them to hide secrets from their past. Lucy is a happy outgoing girl who uses celestial magic (summoning) to help her in battle and is very enthusiastic in the Fairy Tail guild. She’s caring, supportive, and calls the Fairy Tail guild her home. But due to her rough past with her father and the reclusive life as a princess and not interacting with the outside world, she is a prisoner in her own mind and working as a celestial wizard covers up her past. She had maids who help her throughout her days in a mansion, and was under the many social norms and didn’t actually make friends. When her father sends a guild of wizards to stop the Fairy Tail guild and take her back and watches her friends beaten, she falls in denial and eventually goes back to her father. Another thing to mention is the clothes she wears. Most of them are causal and often exotic, whereas the clothes she wears back at her home is formal, and respectable. As Lucy confronts her father and listens to his rules, she rejects his offers. We see Lucy grow stronger when she is a wit’s end and not giving in. Perhaps one of the strongest female leads in the series, Erza is without a doubt Fairy Tail’s knight in shining armor. She is also hardheaded and is the drill sergeant of everyone. She keeps a strong composure of her feelings inside when she wears her armor. When shes alone Erza is comfortable in her own skin without the armor. Her magic armor and her strict behavior shows us her that she has gone through abuse as kid. She was a slave and worked in forced labor along with other children and was mentally scarred when the other slaves rebelled and started to kill some officers. One of her fellow slaves taught her that the only to survive is learn how to fight back physically and this made her stronger as she aged. She is afraid to express her shame, sadness, and isolation and the armor she picks up is to unite her heroism and cover up her frame of mind. Gray is a super laid back dude with a lot of buff, and has scars and bruises to prove it. Even without wearing a shirt. To me, there’s an opposite direction for Gray as compared to the other characters I’ve mentioned. Gray fights best without a shirt on and goes to the extreme with recklessness. Some members of the guild tell him to put clothes on because it’s embarrassing and sometimes pushes people away. The striking part about Gray is since he’s an ice wizard, he wears a jacket and shirt, especially when he was training to become one as a kid. Covering Gray’s skin allows warm comfort and Juvia, another member of the guild who has a crush on him, is his saving grace and knowing that it’s okay to commit to others for support. Natsu has a piece of clothing that keeps his past hidden and that is his scarf wrapped around his neck. And his neck is a weak point much like every other human. The scarf acts like a band-aid and he doesn’t go anywhere without it. Like a stuffed toy from childhood and letting it go is hard, even if it has some bad stains. Clothes are like masks and the style represents who you are and then there are the ones that are plain and hardly shows whats on the inside. Everyone has a costume. And it’s interesting to see how one evolves.
(내가 필요해서 펌) 컴퓨터로 특수기호 쉽게 쓰는법
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