2 years ago10,000+ Views
When you are in relationships (even friendships) with people sometimes you notice the little changes that come with knowing someone for so long. I know that even for me, I've fallen out of friendships just because we are two different people than we were before.
What connected you in the beginning might now be what connects you today.

This often shows up with relationships, two people that spend a lot of time together.

Q: When my partner and I first met, we were both in the same grad school program. We working both also working in the same chem lab. We graduated and have been together ever since. My partner however, has developed a lot of different habits that I didn't expect. They like to write and perform poetry (which is awesome!). The only thing is I used to be able to connect with them on our similar interests. And now that they are developing these new interests, sometimes our dinner convos are pretty dry. I don't know how to connect with my partner on their interests, and I don't want to talk about chem stuff because I know that's not what they are into anymore. How can I bring up topics that we are both into? How can I connect with my partner again?
View more comments
1. find something that you and your partner to discover. 2. go out together to find something new then talk about that thing you went out to. 3. you can talk like basic conversation, or talk about what to get.
Instead of eating dinner at home, try something new to spice the relationship up. Take a cooking class or go out to eat and do something fun beforehand like a movie or something so that you have something to talk about during the meal. I know it can be awkward.
You and your partner don't have to share the same interests to have stuff to talk about. I encourage having different interests. A good thing in a relationship is spending time apart pursuing your interests. Then you have stuff to talk about and share when you are together. If you can't find yourself to care enough to have a conversation about your partner's interests, then I have to wonder about your overall interest in your partner.
I guess it's how interested you are into your partner. If you are not going to be interested in what your partner likes, there won't be anything to talk about. I have been a boring person and totally not interested in what people do. It is only until I read somewhere that to be interesting, you have to be interested. Your steps would be to: 1) find your partner's interest 2) research on them 3) ask questions 4) be curious to find out about everything Your very first step now is to try.
Awww I love that actually @ourluvaffair !! I think you made a really good point about always trying to be curious about your partner and their interests. I even try to be like that with my friends.