a year ago
AlloBaber
in English · 28,119 Views
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Is Your Relationship Failing?: A Checklist

Nobody's calling it for certain, but if any of these are true about your relationship... well, you might want to re-evaluate.

Are you worried that your relationship is doomed to fail? Trying to decide if you want to keep fighting the good fight – or just give up?
I can't tell you for certain whether your relationship is over – after all, no one knows a relationship better than the people in it. But I can give you a few common signs that mean something in your relationship probably isn't right... and unless you both commit to fixing it, you're probably going to end up failing in the long run.

Watch the Signs

Here are 35 signs that your relationship is over (or heading that way). How many of these apply to your relationship?
1. You don't talk to each other anymore.
2. When you fight, you disrespect each other – name calling, abuse, etc.
3. They can't meet your basic relationship needs (or vice versa).
4. You're at different levels of maturity.
5. You have vastly different priorities.
6. There's a big lack of trust – on one or both sides.
7. Physical intimacy isn't really a thing anymore.
8. You don't really see the possibility of a future together.
9. One partner puts a lot less work into the relationship than the other.
10. You don't go on dates anymore. It's been ages since you last spent real quality alone time together.
11. You're constantly fighting, and it's getting in the way of your happiness, your health, and other areas of your life.
12. Your relationship is the biggest source of stress in your life.
13. You'd rather be alone than spend time with them.
14. You hate all their friends, or they hate yours – basically, you have different ideas of what makes someone a good person/friend/human.
15. "Should we break up?" becomes a pretty regular question on your mind.
16. They threaten you. Threaten to leave you, to hurt you, to hurt themselves... basically, they use fear as a weapon, and intimidate you into obeying them.
17. It's kind of ambiguous whether you both even want to be together.
18. When you envision life as a single person, it seems genuinely preferable to what you have now.
19. Either you or your partner struggles with contempt for the other. One of you thinks you're better than the other, or that they're not good enough for you.
20. You fight in public, or in front of friends. Healthy couples know when it's a bad time to squabble.
21. Your partner isn't willing to talk about the issues you bring up. They just get defensive, manipulative, or plain old mean.
22. You feel like they're avoiding you.
23. You don't want to spend money on each other anymore, or resent it when you do.
24. Your relationship is boring. It just doesn't really do anything for either of you anymore.
25. Somebody (maybe even you) spends more time picking fights than having fun.
26. You're constantly fantasizing about being with other people.
27. One of you has cheated multiple times.
28. You don't respect them, or accept them for who they are (or vice versa).
29. You feel disconnected from each other emotionally.
30. You barely know what's going on in each others' lives.
31. Suddenly, your partner is the most annoying person you've ever met – all the time. You have troubl focusing on anything but their flaws.
32. The biggest reason you're with them is one of the following: you're afraid to be alone, you're scared you'll never meet someone better; you're just in it for the sex;
33. Your partner (or you) ALWAYS has to be right. You always have to have the last word in arguments, and you won't admit it when you're wrong.
34. The important people in your life don't like or approve of your partner.
35. When you write out the relationship's pros and cons... there's no way around it... the cons outweigh the pros.
If you can honestly say that five or more of the above signs are true about your relationship, it might be time to let go.
But hey, a little note: these don't necessarily mean you two are doomed to fail. Every couple has rough periods, and problems they need to work together to solve. Just because one of these applies to your relationship now doesn't mean it always will.
But if you're worrying, take the time to have an honest conversation with your significant other and see if you're both willing to put in the effort to work things out. Trust me, good communication is the first step towards health in any relationship.

Don't fret too much, and above all, remember that a break up is not the end of the world. Better to be single than in a bad relationship.

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people need to value amazing relationships, not get stuck in bad ones
a year ago·Reply
20
Absolutely. @marshalledgar
a year ago·Reply
33 things...... yeah I tried .....
a year ago·Reply
10
I'm scared that I'll break it off and then in a few months when he comes around I take him back and it's the same song and dance all over again...
a year ago·Reply
10
Literally 30 out of the 35 was me with my ex... I felt so much stress off my shoulders after we broke up and I didn't even cry. He did though.. But that's how I knew I wasn't feeling the relationship or him anymore. I tried to fake the happiness for his family because they "liked" me and even added me to their family tree Christmas ornament, which they had to redesign and order online. I could tell they disliked me and just tolerated me to my face and for their son. My ex was just too naive and blind to see all the things his fake family and friends did around me and when they did something I found rude and hurtful, they would apologize with laughter in their voice or sarcasm and it wouldn't be sincere at all. Especially when one of his friends threw something at me for a joke and my ex did nothing. I felt so uncomfortable around them and my inner spirit didn't agree with them. We even had different goals and paths for our futures. It was just too much for me especially after I started seeing all of his flaws and saw that he was definitely someone I shouldn't have dated... My family didn't even really like him even though I was grateful that they tried to like him and get along with him. It was just a mess. Feeling like that towards him made me feel guilty for a while too, even after we broke up hahaha
a year ago·Reply