Looking for love (but not the kind that sucks out your soul and turns you into one half of America's lamest couple)?
Two tips I gave in my card How To Attract Someone Who Adores You, which I posted a few days ago: a) be yourself, and b) be real. I know, I know, most cliché advice ever. WHATEVER. It's only a cliché because it's true. Seriously, good stuff happens when you're as true to yourself as possible.
It's just never a good idea to get so obsessed with a relationship that you lose sight of yourself and who you are. You know those friends who just become totally different people when they're dating? PDA monsters, or just randomly really into things they always hated? Yeah, gross. Don't be that person. Maintain your individuality. Be real. Be you.
A few truths I've learned about being an individual in love:
Authenticity and fear of judgement are incompatible.
You can choose one or the other: to be who you are, fully and completely, with no fear of being judged for it; or to be the kind of person who cares what other people thinks. Which do you think is more extraordinary?
I've always had to have a creative pursuit going on, no matter where my main focus was in my life. Whatever your art is – that is, a time when you create something – make time for it. Get some time alone to cook a gourmet meal, paint, draw, photograph, write, or whatever it is you love to do. Make something unique and totally yours.
Authenticity is precious because it's rare.
Being comfortable playing no other role but yourself in the great movie of life – that's seriously hard to find. I don't know a lot of people who are happy being themselves. It's sad. If you want to be a special, unique, and crazy awesome person, loving who you are and embracing your individual spark is a great way to start.
It's pretty freaking awesome to be an individual.
Believe it, even though Miley Cyrus said it. Heck, believe it BECAUSE Miley Cyrus said it. Who knows better about defying the crowd to be an individual than a celebrity who's spent their whole life trying to shape an identity despite the ARMIES of people trying to tell her who she is? Dude, I don't care who you are, you're beautiful. Get over it. Embrace it. Learn it and know it. You're different, and that's great.
Being weird together makes love last.
Love your person BECAUSE they're a freak, not in spite of them being a freak. It's an absolute necessity if you want your relationship to last. Embrace the weirdness!
You can always depend on you.
Cross out that preposition, gurl. Sobering thought, but you can ALWAYS lean on yourself. You're kinda all you've got, at the end of the day. So be a you that you can live with. Be a you you can love.
So even though we're a little preoccupied with Love & Relationship around here (it is sorta what this community is all about...), don't forget that the most important person in any relationship with you. Not in a selfish way, just in a responsible, individual, and self-loving way :)