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He stood next to the bed and looked like a creep staring down at me. I wasn't asleep just pretending to be and watching him with the corner of my eyes. He layed down next to me and stared at me with a smile on his face. Even though I can't see him clearly he looks very pale and his smile wasn't as wide as before. "Jackson are you ok?" "Why is there something on my face?, am I bothering you?" "No, no it's just that you look weird and never stand next to the bed like that, you were creeping me out" "You were awake when I was day dreaming?. And why wouldn't I be ok?, I'm fine" "You look very pale and....... just not you" "Well that's because I barely had any sleep with your arms all over me and because I had a nightmare." "Well i'm sorry if I want to cuddle in the middle of the night, but, what did you dream about to have a nightmare?" "It was about us...... well only one of us. You were gone and I was all alone." I knew what he dreamed about; me being killed by my father. I don't want him dreaming about these type things, he can't think like this either. I was very hurt when he said that because I actually heard him crying close to the door sweating, but unfortunately I passed out before I could even get up and comfort him. That night, well last night actually, he cried quietly and held on to his right leg. Was it still hurting?, is that why he was staring at me beside the bed?. In my own dream, I dreamed of losing him too. But not by my dad, but because of his illness. I don't know if he's still in pain or fine so I worry that because of it..... he will die. I know you think I shouldn't be thinking negatively, but really, how can't I when it made him go into hospitalization and get surgery on it. "Baby" "what is it?" I leaned closer to him and placed the right side of my face on his chest, feeling his heart beat. The feeling of his heart left a soft beat on mine which made it go on the same pace as his. The synchronization of our heart beats made my eyes close and think: If I will no longer hear this heart beat next to me......... what will happen to me?. Will I be all alone and sad or will I be able to move and live the rest of my years with someone else?, Would I get used to not feeling his breath close to my nose making it itch, his tight hugs and soft kisses, or will I be able to get used to the other side of the bed being empty?. I don't want to think about the future, all I want is our relationship to last until it's end and enjoy every second of it. And if he is to die..... I know he'll be in a better place.