What does the word love really mean? Does mean that it's a way to show and say about the person that you love or is it a word that no one knows the meaning of it? To me love means something that we learn as we live. Even if we have experienced it with our loves ones or we gain it when we ourselves ﬁnally learned the true meaning. It's like life a death, we won't know about life until we know we lived a good life, and we won't know death until we are dead. What do think love means to you? Does mean as a show or is it something we learn. Eun Ah was on her small break and decided to update her blog. Even though the last time she updated was at three in the morning that day. So had a lot on her mind and somehow the word love was on her mind. After she left to her oﬃce when Ji and Junhyung found out about her and Doojoon, she needed to breathe. Though her breathing time was cut short when Doojoon showed up.She acted as if she was working and even though she was "working" Doojoon stayed and watched her. She remembered that he use to do that when they both started in the soccer club. How he was god and didn't need much practice but she did if she wanted to stay in the club."What do you want?" She ﬁnally asked and turned to face him.He didn't say anything but stare at her. The last time he saw her or remembered what she looked like was diﬀerent. With long curly brown hair and never wore makeup. Now she wore makeup and her hair was more red than brown with less curls to it."If you are going to say anything can you please go I have some paper work to get done." She turned around and looked at papers that she already ﬁnished. Mostly the paper work she did was to check on what supplies was needed and the equipment."How long have you been working here?" He ﬁnally asked."About three or four years.""And you never thought on saying hi to me." He said to himself but also loud enough for her to hear.She don't say anything.She did at time think on saying hi but whenever she had the chance she would back away and think about the past. She wasn't that type of girl to remise on the past, but when it came to Doojoon she couldn't help but feel hate towards him. She didn't know why but all she could think is that she was jealous of the other idols having girlfriends during their trainee days."I guess whenever you were here I was either working in the oﬃce or not working." She said. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either."Well now I know that you working maybe we could-""Sorry to interrupt but unnie Sam was told to take you home so you can get ready. Also Chin wants him to take you to his parents before dinner.""But it's not even time for me to leave.""I know but Chins mother is also here. I think she was the one who told Sam to get you or she needs to talk to you." Ji said and then walked away after Eun Ah told her to tell Sam she would be out in a few."So I see that you have been doing well." Doojoon said while Eun Ah was packing her purse up.She didn't say anything and walked out of the oﬃce and looked it."Ji don't forget to close up at four. Which is in two hours." Eun Ah said to Ji while ignoring Doojoon.Doojoon wasn't shocked that she ignore him. She use to do it to him all the time in school, but this wasn't school this was them as adults. He wanted to stop her and have her reply to him when he said that it seemed that she was doing well.But he didn't.He watched her as walked out of the front entrance to greet a middle age woman before getting in the car. As he watch the car drive away his heart in his chest felt tight. He ignored it thinking nothing was wrong. Though in the back of his mind he knew that he was jealous and wanted something that he couldn't have back unless he tried.~<~>~<~>~"I know my son said that Sam would get you at four, but I just wanted to see you before it was time." Chin's mother said."Oh but didn't have to come all the way to just see me. Chin and I we're planning on stopping by before or after dinner." Eun Ah said"Oh its ﬁne his father and I are planning to have week vacation starting tomorrow. Plus I know you two want to be together before he leaves for another business trip." Chin's mother said and then told Sam to drive to one of many dress stores. For two hours Chin's mother dropped Eun Ah oﬀ at her apartment and told her to have a nice night with her son.Eun Ah said thank you to the dress that Chin's mother bought for her and then went inside to her apartment. Eun Ah placed here dress on her bed and showered which didn't take long. Once she was done she started to work on a hairstyle that would work for the dress she had on her bed. While she was working on her hair the doorbell rang indicating that someone was at the door.She sighed and walked to her door passing the scene that showed that someone was there. She thought it would be Chin and that he forgot that passcode.“Chin I’m not even ready yet.” She said as she opened the door.Only the person who she believed was Chin was not.It was the one person she was hoping would not know on where she lived.Doojoon.She closed her eyes and was getting ready to close the door to only be stopped by a foot.“Don’t be that why Eun Ah, it’s not nice to close the door on your good old friend.” Doojoon said and stepped into the apartment.Eun Ah didn’t stop him and walked back into her bed room. She thought that he would see she wasn’t dressed and walk away or leave. She thought wrong when she looked behind her to see him right there.“What do you want?” she asked while she was still in her robe. The way he was staring at her made her feel like he was undressing her.He wasn’t going to lie to himself as he watched her open the door in her robe and then walk away to her room with it on. He admitted that she was different when they were in high school and that just looking at her now she was a woman and not a girl that he remembered. He had some thoughts that were not PG, but more in the rated R area.She blushed as she watched him look at her and her old feelings for him started to surface. As if a cold bucket of water hit her she realized that what she felt for him was not aloud to surface even if a small part of her knew she was still in love with him after some many years of locking up the feelings.“You need to go, my boyfriend will be here and I don’t want him to misunderstand on why I am in my robe with you here. Now can you please leave.” She said and it was cold of her to say it.Doojoon wasn’t paying attention until it was like a slap when she said ‘boyfriend’.“Well then you can get dressed and when he sees that you are dress, you can explain to him that I’m a friend. I’m sure he would understand once you explain everything to him.” Doojoon said with a bright smile. Only behind that smile he was hoping that her boyfriend would walk in with her not even dress. However with him and a nice person he was and kept that thought away and tried to think positive.“Even if I was dressed I don’t what to tell him that you are an old friend that I dated in high school so if you could please leave so I can finish getting ready.” She said and moved past him to head back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.However Doojoon stopped her by grabbing her arm. She tried to look at him only noticing that their faces were close enough for them to kiss. She mentally told herself to not do and hold back as much as she could.The both just stared as if they were asking and answering each other’s questions without saying them out loud.He let go of her as if he was stung by a bee and looked away.“If you’re not busy tomorrow lets go and get a drink. I would like to catch up over the years we didn’t see each other.” Doojoon said and then left her standing there watching him leave. He didn’t want to hear her say no.Eun Ah watched him leave and she felt her heart clench as if it was being squeezed by him again. She soon snapped out of it when Chin called saying he was on his way and rushed to finish getting ready.Chin arrived shortly after that and they both headed to the place Chin reserved for dinner, Chin talked about what he was going to be for six months that he would be gone and what type od building they were planning to build. Eun Ah half heartily paid attention on the drive there and throughout the meal. Her mind was thinking about something else well more on someone.Once the meal was done dessert came and they just got on plate to share. When Eun Ah took a bit she felt something hard. It was a ring and when she looked at the ring to Chin she was shocked. She was surprised to see a ring and she knew on what he was going to ask her. Event though she was happy her heart sunk as she thought and wished that it was someone else. She scolded herself to even think of that one person at this important time in her life.“Eun Ah,” Chin said by grabbing her attention. “For the four years we have been together and since I will be gone when we celebrate the fifth year. I wanted to take the night out all nights and ask. So Kwon Eun Ah will you marry me?” Chin asked.Eun Ah was shocked and also felt stupid as she thought about Doojoon the whole time. She when saw the ring she knew right away on what Chin was going to ask.Truly she had no idea in what to say and before she could really think of an answer her mouth moved faster than her mind.“Yes.” She said with a smile as if she was truly happy. However she was silently scolding herself.Chin was happy that they both hugged and kissed to celebrate the happy moment. Though in the back of Eun Ah’s mind she was thinking and asking herself if Chin is the one she wants to ne with or with Doojoon.~<~>~<~>~Doojoon laid in his bed for what seemed like hours, and by the time he rolled over on his side to get some sleep his phone alarm went off telling he needed to get up for his busy schedule for the day.Beast was getting ready for a comeback and like other comebacks they had to learn the choreography for the titled song along worth making a music video. It’s been a month and they learned the choreography the title song. Today they were heading out to do a photo shoot for the album. The music video wasn’t planned to do until the coming week.So even though Doojoon wanted time to be with Eun Ah, he still had a job to do as the leader of Beast.When he was ready he left for Cube to meet the others so they could leave all together for the photo shoot. Once he arrived he noticed that everyone was in the café.“Congrats on the engagement Eun Ah were so happy for you.”Doojoon stopped and felt his heart clench as if someone was squeezing it to where it was not able to beat. However he put on a brave face as he went to join them.Eun Ah smiled and said thank you to those who congratulating her on the engagement. Though her heart and mind were thinking of two different things. One of those things she wished that would go away. Only when she thought it would go away that one thought reappeared when the thought walked in with a smile on his face.“So what is the good news here?” Doojoon asked as he looked right at Eun Ah.Eun Ah looked back at him but didn’t say anything.What did she say to the person that she still have feelings for and yet her heart still hurts of what he did in the past?Everyone watched waiting for Eun Ah say something or for someone else to say something. As they watched they felt the air get heavy as the watched the past lovers stare at each other.