We believe we can understand ourselves by the way we look, how we act, and how we do things, but it's much more complicated than what you may think. You wake up, go to school, go to work, and head back home and relax and do the same thing again the next day. On your day off you explore the internet and interact with people at bars, and restaurants, and yet, if we didn't have someone buying our time, when will we wake and realize we have no guide? Do we let others take us by the hand and go through all the conventional lifestyles we want to have and not diving deep into the trenches of us? My own self discovery started a few years too late when I've been living with anxiety and was introverted, and ended up being reclusive based on the way people treated me and the way I treated people. Outside influences were the only things I could be able to define who I was. Then the context of myself and constructing what I prefer took time, but eventually I managed to define myself onto others. There are no right or wrong ways to live our lives, we just have to find things we are comfortable with instead of going through the default settings. That's when I became selfish. The good selfish, though it did sting some people, it goes to show what I really am, because it's a value ad. Almost like a prize at the end of quest: A solution, not a trinket or shiny object, or money. I figured out that I wanted to write, and meet other people who would actually help me with my writing. In a lot of cases, we live our lives that are considered popular for Instagram, or Facebook, or for a bucket list because somebody else took the time to actually make these things and it was a good idea. It's important to take some time in your life and put yourself first before others, and figure out what you want to do. Being selfish is a way of playing detective, the good cop/bad cop routine, and you're filling in the blanks for a mystery: Your life. It will take time, and there will be moments where people question your position, but once your ideal life becomes an investment, you'll find it easier to identify different parts of the group you are in and pick out the ones that matter to you, whether it be work, friendships, or relationships. Once you've established what you need, then you can go out and find other people, or places, or activities that make you happy.