1. "She's not like other girls — she's really chill."Um. Yeah. That "chill" girl you're going on about? She's just better at hiding the fact that she analyzes every text you send her with her friends at brunch and felt TOTALLY weird the first time she pooped at your house. (Related: Girls who say they just "make friends with guys more" because there's "less drama." Cut that sh*t out immMMMMediately.
2. "My ex-girlfriend was a total psycho." Talking smack about your ex behind her back actually makes you look worse than she does — maybe you made her psycho. Incidentally, this is why I have no sympathy for Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre, with his crazy-a*s wife who he locked in a wall (116-year-old SPOILER ALERT!).
3. "NOOOICE!" Granted, only a particular sort of frat bro yells things like this. But just... stop.
4. "You remind me of that girl on Girls." No. Just no.
5. "Eat something! What are you, anorexic?" I'm allergic to nuts and you took me to Aunt Fanny's Nut World, you j*ckass. And for the record, on the off chance that I was anorexic, this is not a very tactful way to bring it up. See you again never.
6. Any variation of "slut, skank, whore, or c*nt." Just because you sometimes hear girls saying it doesn't mean you're allowed to say it.
7. "Chill out." I WILL FLIP THIS TABLE LIKE TERESA GIUDICE, I SWEAR TO CHRIST.