Being single after almost 13 years of a relationship is frightening. But I'm starting to see some of the benefits and little pleasures in singledom.
The bed is MINE! I'm not a bed hog or anything- quite the opposite really, having slept on the edge of the bed so my exhausted husband could have the rest to toss about. But, it is nice to spread out a little.
Good mornings. I don't have to spend an hour trying to wake someone up, feeling guilty for having to bother him. I have more time to get my kids and myself ready for school and work. It's really nice to sit around and do their hair without feeling rushed.
Nudity and tight clothing don't invite unsolicited groping. I know guys just want to let you know they think you're beautiful and sexy, but sometimes...it really bothers me. It's partly a sensory issue, partly a PTSD thing, but sometimes it's just a "I don't feel like being touched today" thing. Now, I can walk around naked if I wanted to without worrying about a sudden ass grab or feeling obliged to provide a quickie. Of course, I won't because...kids...don't want to scar them for life. XP Haha, just kidding...I have no problem walking around in my underwear before 9 am. They'll appreciate it when they're older and (hopefully) don't have the body issues I do.
I can cook whatever I feel like! No more picky eating in this house! Green foods? Yes. Cheese? Yes. Italian? Latin? Eggplant? Veal? On and on...yes, yes, and yes! It's a delight to get away from Southern style cooking and fast foods! (And yes, I made the delicious meal above!)
Arts and crafts. I'm throwing out some old rules (no scissors, glue, play do, paint, etc.) and getting the kids to redirect their abundant energies into something creative and/or productive. For example, we made mini piñatas today. I should also replace all of the board games my youngest minion destroyed. I really miss family game night.
I have a little "me time". When he feels like getting the kiddos on the weekend, I get some time to relax or read or sleep or explore or...whatever I feel like. I didn't like it, at first...not having the kids around makes me fretful and feels disconcerting. But, I think I'm starting to like it.
No checking in every half hour during grocery shopping. Yes, I get it...if you love me you want to know I'm okay. But with attention problems, the constant check-ins can throw my shopping strategy way off track. I like being able to take my time and calculate the best deals, without feeling like I should be home already.
Everything has a place and everything is IN its place. It's so hard to get children to be organized and do their chores when there's an adult who doesn't set the example. It's also a steep uphill battle for the parent who is trying to be a good example.
I'm learning what I can handle. I thought I was fairly skilled at multitasking before...but since I started working, I've realized that I was twiddling my thumbs, in comparison. It's a little overwhelming at times, but I've got this! I have so much respect for all the single parents that are pulling double duty and working!
I can flirt. Well, theoretically, I could flirt. If I wanted to, or if I didn't become a bloody mute or blabbering idiot around any guy that acknowledges my existence. So...I guess nothing's really changed in that department. :/
I may be single, but there's plenty of love in this house! My kids are beautiful and smart and so full of love, and now I have even more love to give them! (Who knew that could be possible?!)
Yes, I'm single now. But I'm starting to see, that's not really a bad thing. :)