a year ago
stephanierodrig
in English · 951 Views
likes 5clips 5comments 2
It's not that he doesn't care
Ever feel like no matter how much you're with your significant other, you never get tired? while that may be the case for most of us ladies because we alllllll like to consistently get that attention. But sometimes our guys need some man time or "niggah time" as my boyfriend likes to call it. And that IS completely ok & healthy for a relationship. you should both be individuals. But if you're anything like me... I just love to cuddle, watch tv & eat among other things. And it can come across as "clingy" or "leeching". It's like "I know we've been together everyday and now he wants a day to himself..But I still wanna see him". Well stop yourself. You have to have an understanding that each of you need space and even though being together all the time seems nice, but we shouldn't lose our independence. If your boyfriend wants to hang out with his friends sometimes, take that opportunity to go see the girls, or do your hair, read a book. Do some of those things that use to make you happy before you even started dating. Because those are the interesting parts of you that made him fall in love to begin with. You were attracted to an independent man and unless you want a man turned female.... you have to let him continue to be himself. This doesn't mean that when he says " I need niggah time" try not to get offended. It's not that he doesn't care, but sometimes guys can only take so much girly feelings & need a male bond. It'll always be different when he's with his friends, it's like some brother code/ Bromance/ bond that us females just don't get sometimes. HE LOVEs YOU. Don't think he doesn't, don't cause fights because you want to see him because eventually he'll shut down and just not want to deal with it. So instead, try being understanding, try encouraging him to go see family & friends. I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate you giving him more than enough space to where he'll miss you & your company and rather see you than anyone else. He'll be A LOT more pleasant this way trust me! I am myself trying to learn boundaries, I am trying to learn space and loving myself and being independent. If you're anything like me, being with the person you love is like the total SHIT. But if your anything like my boyfriend, a guys gotta have a "niggah day". Don't take offense, it's not that he doesn't care.
2 comments
This is so true! While I would love to spend every day with my boyfriend, I also love alone time or time with my friends - and he needs the same! That's actually part of the reason why we meshed so well in the beginning anyway, since we're content to just read a book alone in a cafe for hours. I found that really great about him and I shouldnt stop him from doing it now that we're dating!
a year ago·Reply
10
Exactly, I have a hard time trying to give my guy space because I think about myself and just wanting to see him all the time. I forget that before me he was this individual that ended up attracting me for how he already was. I shouldn't have to feel like I need to see him all day everyday. although I know he loveeesss being with me, because I have a quick temper things can get escalated for no reason I have to remind myself. He's a person not a toy or pet he needs his time too. And so do I, so it's a work in progress I definitely think this is the way to go. :)
a year ago·Reply
10