Guys!!! Have you ever wondered what your girlfriend, wife, special other, your mother, side chick, that other chick, that other chick's other chick, that girl next door, or that girl friend, truly mean when they speak?
You ask her for a boys' night out and she said "Fine" does not mean it is okay for you to go out (1/100 chances she actually means "Yes, go please enjoy yourself" / "manicure time")
Worry no more.
Introducing THE device that WILL help all you men in these situations.
Note: We do apologize as there is not yet a translator device for man&man / woman&woman / droids&otherbeings / human&animal.
"I Am Fine"
Translation: NO I am Not Fine!!! I got bird poop on my new boots! They ran out of 90% dark chocolate, bacon, AND Häagen-Dazs from the store! I hope they go bankrupt and that you have to drive 2 hours because that's where the nearest store, that carries all those things, is located. I forgot my umbrella and it's pouring! I was not the maid of honor for my sister! You're supposed to know this!! I don't have to tell you. You're supposed to provide comfort and listen! NO, I am not FINE!!
"Aren't You Hungry?"
Translation: Dude, this is not about your hunger. This is about her hunger. Better cook for her. If you can't cook, order delivery. If there are no delivery, better go out to a restaurant or diner. Anything, just feed her before she becomes Hangry.
Hangry /ˈhæŋgrɪ/ Adjective
When you are so hungry that your lack of food causes you to become angry, frustrated or both.
"I Want a Nice Guy"
Translation: Hey!! She doesn't want you. She is kindly rejecting you. She wants a bad boy who she thinks she can change. She want the bad boy to do "nice" and romantic things for her. Nice guy finish last. Unless you're made of gold, then in that case, you should have golddiggers lining up.
"Don't Worry About It"
Translation: On an alert/worry scale of 1-10, with 1 being don't worry, you should be at 100. You done mess up. In fact, it might not even be your fault. You might not even be remotely close to cause of this. Nevertheless, don't even attempt to argue and instead just say "I'm sorry, can I do anything for you?" And, don't even say it without any actual feeling of being sorry. They can pick up on that and you might be on a hotter seat.
"I Don't Feel Good Today"
Translation: "Pamper ME!!!"
It's Shark Week!!! Yes, it's that time of the month for her. She's sad. She's in pain. She doesn't feel loved. Her world is exploding. You should just cuddle and bring her ice cream.
Want extra points? Kiss her on the forehead. Carry her. Cook for her. Massage Her.
For HARD mode: Tell her "You'll be fine" or Good bye, take care.
Disclaimer: This is created by the thoughts of @ChrisSingularis , @AlloBaber , and @1FallenAngel as a representation of our thoughts. Please note this is not a generalization nor a representation of all men & women. Every human being is unique. Every men and women are different. No women were hurt in the process of creation the translation. NO, this is not a real thing. If you get sales offer, please be smart and not give out your money. Although, donations are truly appreciated and will be used for travel and food. There is no copyright or patent as this is not a real thing. If it is, s**t.
Side effects may include, but not limited to: laughter, crying, anger, depression, shouting "what the BBQ-Sauce", questioning @chrissingularis, questioning @AlloBaber, questioning @1FallenAngel, praising the 3, buying a lottery ticket, winning that said lottery ticket, moving to Australia and living with @InPlainSight , who now has a kangaroo with thumbs up, liking this card, sharing this card, pinning this card, commenting on this card, promoting this card until there is 1,000,000,000 views and breaking Vingle, buying food for the creators of this card, repeating that last part 5x, finding a girlfriend, finding a boyfriend, this actually works, getting into arguments, voting for pedro, getting featured in http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ because you can't review what you just typed before hitting send, jumping jacks, burpees, burping, and .... I ran out of disclaimer but in the world of Arnold, "I Will be BACK!!"