3 years ago500+ Views
I tend to hate admitting that I'm vulnerable. Late at night, my nightmares feel like they are too much to bare, voices hound my thoughts, monsters from the dark reach out to me and force me to wake up, sweating violently, I apologize to my future wife. You will have to see me at my weakest moment and I may never forgive myself for that, because one day, you'll realize that it never was any monster chasing me. Just me and only me. I fear you wouldn't be able to accept it or handle it and leave, because you fear the parasite that is my mind and even more so, me. If I can barely handle my own nightmares, what hope do I have that she would be able to with me? Guess it's another sleepless night, right before I have to work a ten hour shift.
Have you ever read Haruki Murakami? He often talks about a mysterious, shapeless 'form' inside all of us, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I feel like you could really connect with that feeling. I've only had one real night terror in my life and I'd never want to repeat it. I hope that eventually you are able to overcome this.
Oh man a good friend of mine had night terrors and nightmares and it was so scary! But I Have you ever tried listening to happy classical music or white noise (rain, nature sounds) before bed? I dunno if that helps, but it helps me go to sleep in general. also know that dreams are not a reflection of how you handle real life problems. you are probably a lot stronger than you think :)
@sophiamor I know what you mean and I'll check him out. Night terrors unfortunately come to me almost every night.
That is a little scary! You sound like there is stress in your life, I know of sleepless nights they are the worst, unless you having lots of fun. I found meditation and massage often help, and drinking tea with friends, and do sport to exhaust the body and the mind will follow.
@mrsmith unfortunately, I'm not having lots of nights of fun anymore, I used to but I ended up appreciating laying next to the person than the actual action.