Peace out, Slanket! So long, Snuggie! Japan has brought back the glory that is the shamelessly lazy things-with-sleeves market with the 'Dame Gi' pajama suit!
So what makes it so great?
Well, which other PJs come with all these built-in features?
First there's the hood.
Flip it on when you're ready for a nap, and thanks to a built-in eyemask and some adorable teddybear-like ear covers, no one will be able to bother you!
Prefer to tie your hair up for the day? There's a special slots for both ponytails and pigtails, so you can let your personality shine your whole lazy day through.
The free-sized waist and expandable wrist and ankle bands allow you to gorge to your heart's content - and never need to buy a larger pair!
And with the special rear opening, you'll never have to struggle with taking it off on the way to the toilet. You got this!!!
They were even nice enough to add a special chest panel for added support. Bra? No bra? Dude with moobs? Who cares?! The Dame Gi certainly doesn't!
For a cool 7,045 yen (roughly $59 USD), a pair of Dame Gi pajamas can be yours - and you can further withdraw yourself from society and sleep to your heart's content. (Shoot, you may never have to leave your house again!)
So confess, fellow lazy people of Vingle, which one of you would totally sport one of these? I know you're out there.
And for more weird products you didn't know you wanted, follow my SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY collection!