After sitting down to type this out, I thought of all of the many qualities that I think of when I think of my college friends. These are people who have been with me through the thick and thin, the most annoying days and the hilariously memorable. So when I listed trust as the number one, some people would possibly argue that trust could have easily been a better #2 or #3 quality but I disagree. Trust is everything.
Trust is the base of every friendship. Within the first few seconds of meeting someone, you will decide if they are trustworthy without even realizing it because it's all a part of our human nonverbal psychology.
Trust is so important because without it, you're never going to be able to tell them about your embarrassing walk of shame from the creepy frat guy's room Saturday morning or that you told everyone you went to the gym when you really gorged on a pack of Oreos. You'll never confess your love for the hottest girl in your dorm because you don't have anyone you can trust and run by your pick up line with.
Trust allows secrets between friends but also creates a sense of home and comfort. At the end of the day, you want to know that your friend is someone dependable that you can trust your best and worst news with. Trust also allows a strong dependability so when you need that ride from the airport or you need someone to hang out with you because you're devastated you bombed your exam AGAIN you have to trust they'll always be there for you.
Forgiveness is hard. If there's anything on this list that I struggle with the most, it's forgiveness. Why? Because like many other people, I am stubborn and have a tendency to believe that I'm right 99.9% of the time unless someone can convince me otherwise. There are so many toxic people in this world and it's really important to figure out who your friends are and who aren't. But even your worst enemy deserves forgiveness otherwise you'll be miserable forever.
Recently my best friend hurt my feelings in a way I never thought was possible. I was devastated. I was alone. I was embarrassed. But I forgave him anyway. Why? Because that's what friends do. After a long talk of discussing my issues, my best friend quickly realized his error and apologized saying that everything was going to be okay. And while I preached of his lack of caring, a simple miscommunication showed that he really did care but the situation came from frustration and misunderstanding which concluded with his apology. There is still some bitterness about the situation and it wasn't what I had anticipated but the feelings have been primarily resolved because I forgave. I can't be mad at my best friend forever, people make mistakes.
I love the following quote:
"The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it's not because they forget; it's because they forgive." - Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal
3. Love (Platonic)
Let's emphasize platonic. Telling your friend that you love them is awesome and something that many of us probably don't do enough. A guy and a girl can love each other without romantic feelings. A girl and a girl can love each other without romantic feelings. A guy and a guy can love each other without romantic feelings. Our society gets so hung up on placing a label on everything, we have yet to fully grasp that you can love someone platonically a.k.a. YOUR FRIENDS.
Your friend needs to adore you. They need to accept you for who you are. If they don't love you, they'll never appreciate your Miley Cyrus drunk impression or your car rides around town jamming to Beyoncé. Your friends will see you slumped over a toilet on the weekends and see you sport your greasy hair and sweats on your way to class. Love creates a bond that is completely encompassing of a friendship.
Many girls throw the word "I LOVE YOU" around while guys rarely say it. And that's really sad because deep down, everyone loves their friends. They are the people you spend all of your time with while texting, snapping, and tweeting them all day every day. And let's be honest, your not going to post an Instagram picture of someone you hate.
If you can't think of a crazy fun moment you spent with your best friendship or group of buddies, you may want to re-evaluate your friend choices. Friends are supposed to enhance your life with experiences and opportunities you alternatively wouldn't have. Friends are fun enhancers, kind of like cuss words, they embellish your life with a little ZING!
Life is about enjoying the little things and having fun. If you don't have fun in a friendship, you're going to face some challenges. You genuinely want to find friends who you can kick it with in a variety of atmospheres and activities. I know there's about half of you only thinking about drugs and alcohol related activities while the other half just wants someone to watch a football game with but it doesn't matter the activity. College has hundreds of opportunities to find your niche of friends and these usually are from events that are fun and apparent with your interests.
Another great quote:
"We didn't realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun."
Life can be difficult and very stressful. A college friend is your home away from home. They'll be the person who will pick you up after a breakup or help you get home at midnight. They are the call at 2 p.m. to talk about nothing and 2 a.m. to console you because your cat Fluffy Poo Poo just died. Support is essential for any college friendship because they are the first line of defense against the cruel world. And they make great cuddle buddies (yes, guys can cuddle too).
I challenge each and every one of you to be a friend to somebody. There is a friend out there for everyone and all it takes is a "Hello!" to start that conversation. We need a support system and that's exactly what college friendships do. Many people feel like they get lost in the crowd at college because there are so many people but you can find supportive friends out there to promote you and bring you happiness in whatever you set your mind to.
I know many people mock fraternities and sororities but they thrive at college because of the support systems they bring. Athletic teams do the exact same thing. So do theater groups and anime clubs. The list goes on and on. All of these things bring a group of people together to support one another in an activity of their liking. And that's awesome because if you can say that you feel supported and loved in a friendship, there's nothing better in the world.