3 years ago1,000+ Views
Over the weekend I decided to give my abuela a phone call. It was a brief chat, just like most of our phone calls (unless there's chisme to be exchanged). I updated her on my romantic life, and she was giving me "mhms" and what seemed to be defiant silences.
But then as soon as we moved on to the next topic, she became a chatterbox again. Sometimes it's very difficult to get any sort of clear opinions or feelings from my abuela - not that she doesn't have any, but because I think she has had to mold herself into abuela Wonder Woman where here feelings should not get in the way of taking are of her family.
Anyway, after I was finished talking to my abuela, I asked my sister why abuela seems uninterested in my romantic life.

"She wants you to get married and have kids already!"

"Huh? Seriously?" I said.
"She says she's been waiting a long time."
"I thought she didn't care about that."
"Well, that's what she told me."
Growing up, my abuela has always told me to focus on what's important. And a boyfriend was never a part of that equation.
"Don't depend on a man! Go to school. Get a good job. Make money," she'd say loudly in her thick Puerto Rican accent.
But it made me question a lot of things. Does she really think I am ready for all of that? Because I know I am not. Maybe I am ready to have my own apartment with a few baby...cats. But, I am totally not ready to settle down and pop little Alywoahs. And sometimes I am not even sure if I want that. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. What I know for sure is that there's so much I still want to do before settling down.

I want to travel. I want to focus on my own needs. I want to spend my money on myself. I kind of want to be a little selfish right now - and that's okay.

Whenever I call my aunts and uncles on the east coast, it always gets to the point where they ask me if I'm seeing someone, and it's really hard to defend my answer of 'no' to a bunch of relatives thousands of miles away.
For sure! She definitely wants the best for me (but she still wants grandbabies haha). I am definitely focused on myself right now. @shannonl5
I don't think there's anything wrong with being selfish. It's your life, your body, your future. I'm sure she just wants good things for you since I'm betting you mean the world to her, but you're the expert in you and what makes you happy
My grandma was the same. She was the kind of woman who got married when she was pretty young, had 5 kids, then worked her ass off raising them and supporting them by herself. That's what everyone in her era did. She doesn't really get the whole career-travel-self exploration thing that our generation has going on. Then I went to college, studied abroad, moved all over the world and in a sense I took her with me. I told her about all my adventures and when she saw how happy I was she laid off the 'settling down' nonsense :) Now she's the first one to brag about he granddaughter not because of my gorgeous children, but because I'm doing what I love. It just took her a while to get that.
@alywoah @shannonl5 I think that's what it comes down to, I'd love to live long enough to be a great grandfather but that'll be up to my grandson when he gets that age lol
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