2 years ago1,000+ Views
Over the weekend I decided to give my abuela a phone call. It was a brief chat, just like most of our phone calls (unless there's chisme to be exchanged). I updated her on my romantic life, and she was giving me "mhms" and what seemed to be defiant silences.
But then as soon as we moved on to the next topic, she became a chatterbox again. Sometimes it's very difficult to get any sort of clear opinions or feelings from my abuela - not that she doesn't have any, but because I think she has had to mold herself into abuela Wonder Woman where here feelings should not get in the way of taking are of her family.
Anyway, after I was finished talking to my abuela, I asked my sister why abuela seems uninterested in my romantic life.

"She wants you to get married and have kids already!"

"Huh? Seriously?" I said.
"She says she's been waiting a long time."
"I thought she didn't care about that."
"Well, that's what she told me."
Growing up, my abuela has always told me to focus on what's important. And a boyfriend was never a part of that equation.
"Don't depend on a man! Go to school. Get a good job. Make money," she'd say loudly in her thick Puerto Rican accent.
But it made me question a lot of things. Does she really think I am ready for all of that? Because I know I am not. Maybe I am ready to have my own apartment with a few baby...cats. But, I am totally not ready to settle down and pop little Alywoahs. And sometimes I am not even sure if I want that. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. What I know for sure is that there's so much I still want to do before settling down.

I want to travel. I want to focus on my own needs. I want to spend my money on myself. I kind of want to be a little selfish right now - and that's okay.

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Whenever I call my aunts and uncles on the east coast, it always gets to the point where they ask me if I'm seeing someone, and it's really hard to defend my answer of 'no' to a bunch of relatives thousands of miles away.
2 years ago·Reply
@sophiamor times really have changed! I just always thought my abuela was pretty modern in her way of thinking about careers/love...but it seems like since I finally did the things she wanted me to, I should consider settling down.
2 years ago·Reply
@danidee hahaa that's my life. I am usually single. So I totally understand where you're coming from.
2 years ago·Reply
Lol, it's hard because women in my family's culture usually get married pretty young.
2 years ago·Reply
well. I'm a guy 18. never had a girlfriend. never really cared. dint see this as a problem. until I noticed how all the other guys be talking about girls and shit. mabey it's just me. but when I think of my future a woman in my life never comes to mind. (not gay. that's for sure.). I got female friends but I never get nervous around them nor any girl, although I am nicer and courteous. I think Ima. just die alone, and that idea dosent bother me at all.
2 years ago·Reply