I've always been one to remember the past in ways that fuck up my future. And I tend to recollect all the times I used to be someone's number one pick. You know what I'm talking about, right? When you're dating someone and you look at them and they look at you. And the only way you could describe that look is like they looked through you into the future that they think is possible with you.
Honestly, it's a terrifying look. I get all kinds of cold when that look starts plastering the face of anyone I'm dating. It's not that I don't feel that way when they look at me. It's more like I'm afraid of regretting the future. It's like I don't want to be involved in something that I might not like later on. And it's a weird thing, to be afraid of the future in that way.
But every time those relationships end, I look back and think about how I should have just gotten my shit together instead of being a scaredy-cat. And when I get like that, I listen to Groin Twerk by Dads.
One day you’ll be married and you won’t have to feel dirty purchasing pregnancy tests from convenience stores with your best friend. Oh I was your best friend once, walking down the aisles picking out baby names. Yesterday I found pictures of you sitting in your underwear; a middle finger to your mother, and a fuck you to your father.