Looking out the window he could see the medics putting someone on a stretcher. Shortly after Kookie stormed out he heard sirens just outside his apartment. He wiped his eyes trying to get a better view of what was going on outside; a distraction from his sad existence was much welcomed. One of the paramedics moved as they put the stretcher inside briefly revealing the face of the person with blood on their cheek. Sinking to the floor the room began to spin and the face replayed over and over in his mind. Was he really so stupid as to drive him away and make him so upset that he would ignore the basic understanding to watch for cars.
Not only had he lost the woman he loved but he possibly just lost the only person who was willing to still love him despite how much he had been drinking with grief. Stumbling Yoongi got to his feet and headed to his room. His feet weren’t working properly and he fell against the wall suddenly feeling nauseous. Between the alcohol and his racing thoughts the world was spinning out of control; he struggled to keep steady. Ending up having to crawl the rest of the way to his room he felt completely exhausted by the time he pulled himself up onto his bed.
He really was alone now with no one left to care about his sorry ass. Two people he loved dead,one friend might as well be dead, one over dosed because he couldn’t take the pain anymore, and another who as far as he knew was going to drown himself tonight according to the voicemail that had been left. Looking over at the wall he saw the button up shirt Jung Kook had been wearing the day they buried Nabi. Kookie had spent the night with him because he knew how hurt he was. Someone so amazing was still willing to stay so close to him and he just pushed him away. Below the shirt was the pair of shoes Nabi had worn over the night they got together. He had gotten her a pair of shoes to match his; it was disgustingly cute to match things but it made her happy so he did it.
Something shiny caught his eye from the nightstand. It was a lighter he still had from when he used to smoke. He hadn’t smoked since they were still in high school; the whole rebelling teenage thing. Picking it up he tried to remember why he still kept it. By now the world had slowed to a crawl and only his thoughts were left. Looking to the empty side of the bed he stretched out his arm trying to touch where she had been only weeks ago and where Kookie had been a few nights after that.
Flicking the lighter over and over he could feel the flame warming his hand. He just stared at the dancing flame every time it sparked up. Nothing was left for him here in this void that was the rest of his life. Even if he meet someone else how could they possibly deal with all the heartbreak he held inside his soul. How could he ever love someone ever again after having everything ripped away? Holding the lighter up under the shade of his lamp he flicked it one last time watching at the flames lapped at the cloth.
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