I was completely blindsided.
There comes some days in your life where you never thought mid afternoon you'd be in a situation where you were so frozen, so alone, and so sad at the same time. Today, for me, was one of those days.
I don't get phased by much, and it's rare that I show physical signs of emotional wavering. However, today was much different and something I'm still digesting hours later. I was hurt, plain and simple. I felt betrayed. I felt degraded. I felt worthless. And sometimes in these circumstances, you either fight or you flight. Naturally for me, I almost always go with fight. But I hit a weak spot because after about 10 minutes of stone hard cold facial responses, my lip began to whimper. And then it hit me.
Tears. Lots and lots of tears. Full crying but not sobbing. Trying to piece myself together while keeping the remaining confidence and composure I had left. I never anticipated this to happen and I sure as hell never thought I would get to a point where everything would seem to be crashing down. Naturally, the pain lingers for hours but its amazing that alone time, sobbing to your mom, and confiding in a friend can really do wonders.
So today wasn't great and that's okay. Here's 3 simple whys...
1. Sometimes you come to a realization something needs to change. Maybe its your approach to things or attitude. Maybe you just need a change of scenery, you're continuing unhealthy choices, or you are better off without some things you currently deem essential. But change, something I personally dread, is necessary and sometimes it takes a bad day to realize that.
2. Never, I MEAN EVER, let someone talk down to you. Never allow someone to degrade you and call you characteristics you are not. Crying was a defense but I refuse to believe the traits being that were prescribed to me by someone who didn't know me. There are going to be so many people in the world who will try to take away your happiness and today was an example that once the tears were wiped away, I was able to still see my self worth. No one has the right to define me.
3. Tomorrow is a new day. Time can heal. Confiding in others can heal. Changing your perspective can heal. Removing toxicity from your life can heal. But most importantly, you get a restart the following morning reminding yourself that you get another shot at happiness for a full 24 hours.
I had a bad day and it was devastating. But I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and am looking forward to a new day tomorrow. Everything is going to be okay.