Sorry about not posting I'm back at home with a good wifi connection.
So Let's Get The Voting On!
Seventeen - SHINee -
Got7 - VIXX - BTOB
- B.A.P - SS301
AH YES WE ARE BACK WITH A JUNGKOOKIE IMAGINE :P
Summary: You were good, but you weren’t her. You weren’t enough and neither was he.
Frozen to his spot by the door and wide eyed, he blinked several times; gaze drifting over the scene before him. Everything appeared normal, but with what had just come out of her mouth, he felt terrified. Slowly, he leaned to the side to set his backpack down, feet carefully slipping out of his untied boots. Jungkook delicately placed one sock clad foot on the hardwood floors as he held his hands out as if to show her that he meant no harm. His nervous expression shifted between her flat one and the bubbly smile forming between chubby fists.
“C-can..can you repeat that..?” He whispered softly, halfway across the room to them. Maybe he had been spaced out when she spoke and he heard her completely wrong. There was no way he could have walked into something so absurd. They were happy, right? Jungkook was happy and he was sure their son was happy.
So why wouldn’t she be too?
Her eyes dropped to his hand as they came to tenderly rest on her elbows. He leaned slightly towards the two of them, dropping a kiss onto his bubbly son’s forehead, but his eyes never left hers. Giggling, their son sighed happily, clammy hand grasping at the lapel of Jungkook’s jacket to himself towards his father. Jungkook didn’t lift him up. If what he thought he heard was in fact the truth, her holding onto the baby was the only thing keeping her in this apartment as of now. Instead, Jungkook ran his hand over his son’s head, letting the baby grip onto his fingers and study them.
She was subtly shifting the baby towards him and he was subtly ignoring his son being handed over to him. “Repeat that.” Jungkook said once more, his gaze hardening. She sighed heavily, adjusting the baby boy on her hip.
“I can’t do this.” She breathed. “I..This was all you and you’re never even here. You think he’s the perfect little boy because you never see him when he’s screaming for hours because he doesn’t want to take a nap..or- or even crying for no reason at all. You don’t see any of it, you just see him for a few days and then you’re off somewhere again. You said we’d do this together, Jungkook. You promised you’d be here.” Her fingers knotted tightly in the fabric of the baby’s jeans,”I didn’t even want to keep-”
He had been silently nodding, guil stirring in his stomach, but when her tone had suddenly sharpened, Jungkook found himself pulling the baby away from her and hissing. “Watch your mouth.” She deflated, shoulders sagging. Even Jungkook was against her.
Of course he was, she figured, the only baby he saw was the excited one that looked around with bright eyes and an even brighter grin. He didn’t see the baby that got into thing he wasn’t supposed to or threw temper tantrums whenever he didn’t get his way.
Jungkook barely knew his own son.
“Well you’ll see what I mean soon.” She huffed, eyes passing over the content child in his father’s arms. “And you’ll understand me.” He furrowed his brows as she stepped away to grab a small duffle bag and her purse off the kitchen table. Jungkook intercepted her path to the front door. The baby quieted, his wide eyes cutting between his standoffish parents.
“It’s hard.” He stressed. Jungkook shifted his son from one hip to the other, absently pulling down the the hem of the baby’s shirt. ”I know it is and I can’t imagine doing it day after day, but you can’t just fucking leave. He’s your son! I’m your fiance, we need you, j-”
She shook her head violently, trying to move him out of the way. At seeing his mother move closer, the child reached out to her only to have his hands delicately brushed away. She had had months to think over this and come up with reasons to stay, but none of them seemed worth the way staying made her feel. Jungkook had painted everything so beautifully when they found out she was pregnant, but now..
Now she had saw how lonely and frustrating it was and she wanted out.
She needed out.
Jungkook was a nice guy, he’d find someone else to help him if he really needed it. She really doubted that he’d be able to raise his son alone. Plus, he had his ‘brothers’. They wouldn’t let their youngest be left alone after this. “No.” she told him flatly, eyes cutting to the front door. Just a few more steps and she would be able to breath again.
“No?” He echoed angrily. “Just no? I fought for you!” He snapped, startling the baby. Flinching at Jungkook’s tone of voice, the baby froze, brows knotting together as tears collected in his eyes. “When I wanted to date you; I defended you against everyone! My fans, my hyungs, my bosses, everyone! When you got pregnant too. Do you know what everyone wanted me to do?
He growled,”They wanted me to say you cheated and it was someone else’s baby. They wanted me to ruin your name and your reputation to save my own ass! I stayed. I fucking stayed and I tried- I’m trying!”
She threw her hands up in frustration, angrily shoving them against his chest. There was a soft whimper from her son as he rubbed at his watery eyes. “Well, it’s not enough, Jungkook! You can say you’re trying all you want, but in the end, it’s not enough! Thanks for not fucking me over when everyone told you to, but I’m talking about right now! I’m talking about the consequences of you ignoring everyone’s advice! You talked them out of leaving me and you talked me out of adoption or any other options, but you’re not even here for him.” He was the one who was so adamant about keeping the baby. It was him. And he wasn’t even taking full responsibility. As soon as the baby was born, Jungkook was off on tours and practicing at the studio for hours and it was her that was left alone with a screaming infant for days on end. It was her who did everything for a baby she wasn’t even sure she wanted.
He wanted it and he had done practically nothing.
He ran a hand through his hair, eyes passing over his son’s soft features drawn together in confusion. “I know I’m not here as much as you want or need, I’m not here as much as I want to be either. I wish I could live here and sleep here night after night, but I can’t. I can’t support you the way you want me to and be here all the time. Believe me, if there was a way to be a singer and a dancer from home, I’d be all over that, but-”
“Don’t fucking twist my words, you piece of shit!” She screamed. By then, the baby was already crying, eyes tightly shut and lips quivering. Jungkook distractedly bounced him, infuriated gaze set on the woman in front of him. She pointed to the weeping child. “I said I didn’t want the baby because we don’t have enough to support him and you turn it around into me saying that I want to live some lavish life and decided that you need to work all the time to give it to me! I didn’t ask for some high rise apartment! I didn’t ask for fucking granite countertops! I didn’t ask for a walk-in closet or a new car or shit ton of jewelry-”
“You fucking asked for it!” He argued back just as loudly,”Don’t pull that shit with me. You said you didn’t want it one time! One time! But as soon as I gave you the first thing you wanted more! Everytime you say or text me something like ‘oh, do you think we should have a chandelier over the dining room table? I saw a few I liked.’ or ‘I want to change our bedroom set, what you think about this?’ I write it down. I have a damn list of the shit you asked me for and I’ve been working to get it for you! And when I don’t get it as fast you want you suddenly pull the ‘You’re never home and you don’t even try to take care of us card’. I can’t be here with you 24/7, and buying you shit doesn’t make up for it, but it’s all I can do. And I try.” Jungkook quietly shushed the baby, rubbing his back until he stopped crying. Hoisting him up a bit, he tucked him against his chest, gently rocking him.
“It doesn’t matter-” She stressed.
“It doesn’t matter now?” He laughed bitterly, “Then why did you bring it up?” She didn’t answer, just turned away from him him to glare at the wall and collect herself.
He hoped this was just some crazy dream he was having. Maybe he had something bad for dinner? There was no way his other half was just walking out on him and their child. That was absurd. Jungkook cradled his son closer, smoothing down his hair. His son pouted, small hands pressing against Jungkook’s mouth. “Did Appa scared you?” He asked softly, kissing the baby’s palm. Timidly, the child nodded. Jungkook sighed softly, “Appa’s sorry, Yujin. Eomma’s sorry too.” he cooed, “It’s okay, you’re safe. Appa and Eomma are here to keep you safe.” He was convinced she just needed some time alone and then she’d be back to normal. In a few hours everything would be right again.
His fiance rolled her eyes, walking around him. Jungkook was rarely ever there to do anything. Surprisingly, he let her maneuver around him. Ramming her feet into some simple sandals, she looked back at him, “I’m done.” She finalized. “With all of this, so don’t call me.”
He looked up at her in confusion. “I have work tomorrow, I have a music bank performance actually. What am I supposed to do with the baby?”
“His sitter is coming by tonight. You’ll be fin-”
Jungkook froze. “He has a sitter?” He had never consented to or heard anything about a sitter. He abhorred sitters. If anyone was watching over his child, it had better be family or a very close friend, not some stranger. Which was why she probably never told him about getting the baby a sitter; he would’ve shot that idea down.
“Of course he has a sitter!” She hissed,”I can’t watch him all the damn time! I needed a break too! If you were actually here, you’d know this.” Jerking open the door, she stepped out ramming into you. A bit late, you had hoped she was still home. It still unnerved you the one time you had gotten stuck in traffic and arrived a half hour late to text telling you the key was under the doormat and the baby was down for a nap.
She had just left the baby alone.
You smiled at her, glad she hadn’t left yet. Her wide eyes darting over your face guiltily. Gently, you patted her shoulder. By the tear streaks and ruffled hair you could tell she desperately needed a night out.
“Are you alright?” You chuckled softly, smoothing down the rumpled scarf draped across her shoulders and patting down her messy hair. It looked like the baby had done her hair. Yujin’s ear perked, small legs lightly kicking against his father’s sides demanding to be let down. Jungkook watched his son trying to look back over his shoulder at the newcomer at the door.
Did he know you?
“Is Yujin having another bad day?” You asked. “Do you need me to stay the night again?” The other woman’s face crumpled and she suddenly enveloped you into a hug.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” She wept,”I’m so sorry. I tried, I really really tried.”
You hugged her tightly, rubbing her back,”It’s fine, really. I don’t mind spending the night.” You assured her,”You don’t know how grateful I am to be able to watch your son for a few hours.” Still unseen, Jungkook frowned at you. You were the sitter, that was clear. But what confused him was how at ease you were with the idea of taking care of Yujin overnight. How often had his fiancee left their son in your care for long periods of time? “You go and relax. There’s a new cafe downtown and it has really good food. You should take a few friends and try it out.” You told the woman.
You both looked into the apartment at the baby tucked against Jungkook’s side. Her fingers dug into your side as she nudged you forward, but you stayed rooted. Jungkook glared at you, visibly displeased at your presence. Awkwardly, you looked back at the other woman. You had never met Yujin’s father before; you only knew that his name was Jungkook, he worked a lot and that Yujin’s mother often sent you drunk voicemails complaining about him. She only ignored his stare, softly telling you,
“This is Yujin’s father, Jungkook.”
Clearing your throat, you smiled politely, sticking your hand out to shake, “Hello. I’m Y/N, it’s nice to finally meet you. Yujin’s always talking about you.” As if to emphasis your sentence, Yujin nodded in agreement, softly babbling around his fingers in his mouth. Jungkook stuck his hand out to shake, glare lessening when Yujin squealed and reached out for you.
Suddenly Jungkook was pulling Yujin away from you and you were whirling back to look at Yujin’s actual mother. “I-I told you I’m not comfortable with him calling me that.” You whispered. It didn’t sit well with you how she practically demanded that Yujin call you eomma instead of her. It hadn’t always been that way, you noted. Just a few months ago, actually, had she started pointing you out to Yujin and murmuring ‘eomma’. “I’m not his moth-”
She patted your shoulders, moving away. “You are now.” Jungkook suddenly moved, rushing to the door after her. He hesitated by you, fumbling a bit as he debated whether or not to leave the baby with you. Frozen, you avoided his livid gaze, a sigh of relief passing through your lips when he set Yujin in your arms with a curt threat not to do anything stupid while he was gone.
“I, wha-” Your voice was cut off when Jungkook sprinted out the front door, chasing after Yujin’s mother. Alone in the apartment, you pushed back the awkwardness of what had just happened. Yujin grinned up at you, hands softly touching the ends of your hair. “Have you had a bath yet?” His grinned widened as he slowly shook his head. You chuckled, running your finger along his arm and pretending to observe the dusted collect on it. “Are you lying..?” He laughed, nose crinkling as he giggled loudly. “Yujin-ah, it’s not nice to lie.” You teased softly carrying him to the nursery.
Setting him down, you settled onto the floor, opening the bottom drawer of his dresser. Curiously, the baby tottered over, watching you pull out a onesie for him. “Eomma…?”
“Noona.” You corrected gently. He looked to the door as if expecting someone else to appear. When no one showed up, Yujin looked back to you,
“Eo-” You scooped him up, carrying him off to the bathroom for a bath. He brightened at the sight of bubbles, eagerly reaching out for them. Although giving him bubble baths ended up with you soaked, he loved them. And you were sure his parents had been fighting and he was probably scared, so you’d give him a bubble bath.
Jungkook had come back into the apartment, opting to quietly stand by the doorway and watch. Eyes rimmed red, he wasn’t sure what to do now. His fiancee was seriously leaving him; she wasn’t coming back and she wanted nothing to do with Yujin. Apparently this had been her plan for months. She had been pushing Yujin towards you for a while now. Jungkook rubbed his nose with his jacket sleeve. His thoughts had been racing. He was now a single dad. His parents were all the way in Busan and too busy working to watch Yujin and it wasn’t like he could call out of work. Well, he could, but him and the guys had been preparing for months.
The only person he had to watch Yujin was you. The sitter he had never met before, but that his fiancee had insisted was Yujin’s ‘real mother’. He didn’t get. You weren’t Yujin’s mother, you didn’t give birth to him. So you watched him a few nights out of the week, that didn’t make you his mom. You were nothing to his son.
You were nothing to him.
Now, it seemed his mind was blank.
“You want a baby to take care of, have your own damn kid.” He hissed lowly. You jumped, surprised by his voice. Whatever he had said was unintelligible by you, but by the tears in his eyes you figured that it wasn’t meant for you to hear.
Looking back you saw teary eyed Jungkook glaring at you from the doorway. Jungkook stepped into the bathroom, getting down on his knees by the tub and brushing you aside to finish Yujin’s bath. “You’re not his mother.” He pressed. You only nodded, that was the complete truth. “I don’t understand what she’s thinking right now, but she’ll be back.” He mumbled, “She has to come back. She’ll be back and you can go.”
“Of course she’s coming back.” You agreed with him. She always came back. She just needed a few nights to recharge and then she’d be back. He blinked in surprise, your answer surprising him. You blinked in surprise in return, unsure of what to do. Why did he look so shocked?
Jungkook angrily looked away, attention focused on Yujin’s hands patting at the bubbles. “She left us.” He informed you,”She’s done with me and Yujin..she said she can’t do it anymore. She can’t be his mother anymore.” His eyes welled with tears, “I have a music bank tomorrow and I came home thinking I’d spend a nice night with my family before I go..and I come home to my fiancee abandoning my son and I.” He cried, rubbing his eyes with his sleeves. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” He hissed to himself. Cautiously you touched his shoulder,
That was news to you. Why would she abandon them? “I’ll help you.” You offered softly. “I know you don’t like me..it’s written all over your face, but your fiancee trusted me..and your son likes me; that has to count for something. I’ll watch Yujin while you’re away and while you talk things out with his mother…I can try to get her to come see him too, if you want me to.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Yujin’s a gift that I don’t want her to miss out on.” You murmured, “He’s something not everyone gets to have.”
Jungkook looked away, thinking of how to string his thoughts into a sentence, “You’ll help me get her back?” You winced, gently tweaking his sentence,
“I’ll help you with Yujin.” You corrected, “I don’t think I’ll be able to help you get her back, that’s something you have to do.” Motioning to the door, you pulled Jungkook’s arms away from the tub,”You said you had a concert or something, right? Why don’t you go to bed, I’ve got Yujin for the night.”
He sat back, heart aching at how comfortable you were with all of this. “How often have you said that?”
You looked over at him. “Said what?”
“‘I’ve got Yujin for the night’?” He asked, “How often has she left Yujin with you?” Jungkook watched you look away, pulling the baby into a towel and gently rubbing his hair dry.
“He has his own room in my apartment.” You murmured,”His own highchair, toys, his own everything.” You reached over for the baby lotion, settling him on your lap,”If you want a straight answer, it’s all day Thursday and noon to 3 every other day.”
He relaxed, “That’s how often you have him?” It was more than he liked, but that was alright. You looked over at Jungkook steadily.
“That’s how often his mother has him.”
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