Parts: all found here
WARNING: Mature content
- Hoseok's point of view - Better at least get my hair wet, or they'll really be able to tell I didn't take a shower. Okay. Deep breath. Don't look guilty, I don't really feel guilty, but I don't want it to be completely obvious either. I hope at some point this really does get less embarrassing; because as of now, I don't see that happening. I open the door and before I even have a chance to take a step I see Jimin is standing there. I'm left with no time to think or respond as he grabs my phone. "What the fuck! Give that back!" I try to get over to him, but Jungkook stops me. "Seriously! You're in on this shit!" "Sorry." "No you're not. Jokes on you Jimin, there's a pass code! So good lu-" "Tae what's the code?" "7059." "Really!" He shrugs. "Sorry." "You guys are such pricks! This isn't a joke! It's not funny!" Jimin starts giggling. "Oh man!" "Knock it off!" Tae runs over. "What is it?" Jimin turns the screen away from him. "Nothing for your young, innocent eyes to see." "After all I did?" "You just gave me the code. Don't act like such a martyr." He starts shaking his head and has a grin on his face as he reads the texts. "Wow, this is really something else! I knew you were acting weird earlier, but this is way more than I expected!" I can't even look Jungkook in the eyes. "Let me by. This is incredibly degrading and you know it's wrong." He looks down, then moves out of the way. At least someone has a conscience. Jimin is still going on without noticing. "You two are so explicit!" I rush over and grab my phone. "What's wrong with you! Why would you even want to see that!" "I just-" "You're such a fucking freak!" "It's not that big of a deal." "Actually, it is! How do you think I feel right now! I'm humiliated!" He rolls his eyes. "You're blowing this out of proportion." "No, you're just not taking me seriously! I feel terrible because guess who the other person was in that personal and private conversation!" He realizes and finally shows some remorse. "Boram." "Exactly! She's a person, with feelings, and she would be devastated to know that someone saw that! And thanks to you, I just broke her trust!" "It's not your fault." "Yes, actually it is my fault; because I should have deleted them sooner. But I didn't expect to be fucking jumped by some perverted little brats the moment I opened the door!" No one responds. "You all should feel pretty ashamed of yourselves. I know we live together, but there are certain things that we should be able to keep private. Jimin, don't get these two involved in your weird plans." I look at the other two. "You two shouldn't have gone along with it though. I mean, come on, really. You know better." They respond in unison. "Sorry." I turn and stare down Jimin. "And I'd be willing to bet that you didn't keep any of what I told you to yourself. Did you." He looks down. "Wow. Fucking wow. Shows how trustworthy you are. "Man to man, just between us." Yeah, right. A man's only as good as his word. Don't ever fucking forget that, because I'm sure no one else here will. Do you know why they won't forget?" That carpet must be real interesting if he can't even look up at me. "Because you not only showed me that you can't be trusted, but you also showed those two that you can't be trusted. You know, there's only two types of people in this world that I hate. Do you know what types those are?" He's got his eyes shut tight. Maybe you should cry a little. "Liars and thieves. I despise liars and thieves. And you just managed to become both all at once. That's one hell of an accomplishment. I hope you're real proud of that." All of them have their heads down and are staring at the floor. "I'm an adult, and technically so are all of you. But right now, you're nothing more than a bunch of children who don't understand what personal boundaries are and how over stepping those boundaries can hurt someone. You know, I was so relieved that you guys weren't upset with me anymore. But honestly, if this is what you're going to do, then you might as well just avoid me until you're ready to grow the fuck up and act your age." I walk over and sit on the bed, facing the wall. I can hear them sitting down on the other bed in silence. This is so awkward now. I can't believe they did that. I really thought that he was only curious when he asked me that earlier; but this had nothing to do with curiosity, it was just about perversion. I don't think I've ever been so humiliated. To be ridiculed for something personal and private is awful; but for it to also be something sexual is just mortifying. I don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion. My reaction was undoubtedly justified. I don't care if it was only three people who know. I don't care that it was only Jimin who read it. It's enough to still make it hurt, maybe more because they did it with intention to someone who's their friend. I can't forget that Jimin can't keep his fucking mouth shut either; so who knows who he might tell about it. I hope he's learned his lesson and feels bad enough that he won't, but there's certainly no guarantee. Apparently when it comes to this his morals get pushed aside. Why would they think that'd be okay? I honestly don't understand it. Do I just deserve such little respect, that the three youngest members would feel it was okay to do that to me? I know we're like family, but still, we all deserve some amount of respect and privacy. I hope they feel like complete jack asses for what they just pulled. I hope they feel so fucking stupid. This had better be enough to make them forget about any other ideas they had. I can't wait until this is all old news and nobody cares that I have a girlfriend. It's as if they think it's okay to invade my privacy just because it's new. I don't need them making this anymore difficult. Long distance alone is going to kill me; so I don't need to be hassled on top of that. Plus, there's the chance that all of the guys are going to hate her if there's going to continue being issues between me and other members over things to do with her; so them purposely creating issues is just going to make that more likely. ... Well, today sucks; and that's a total understatement. The one time we get a chance to screw around for a day and go do stuff in a different city, I get to feel like this. I had a horrible morning and seeing the three guys who ruined it having fun, is really getting to me. They truly are like children. You scold them and they don't care. I did way more than just scold them and they still don't even care. "Why are you glaring at those three?" Namjoon comes over and talks quietly to me. "I'm not." "You most definitely are. You're practically staring daggers at them." "I'm not trying to. Maybe the sun's in my eyes or something." "It's cloudy." "Hell, I don't know then. I just know I'm not glaring at them." "Okay, okay. Simmer down. I was just asking." "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine." "You're not. You're in a bad mood. You've been in one since this morning. You're not even walking near us." "Sorry." "You know everyone is off your back about everything and they acknowledged your issue with how they treat you. So why are you in a bad mood?" "I was in a fine mood when they told me everything you just said. I'm just not anymore." He groans. "You're like a woman. You're in a bad mood because something is obviously wrong, but you say everything's fine." "Thanks. Nothing puts me in a great mood better than an insult." "Knock it off. Just tell me what the hell is bugging you. You know I don't say shit to anyone and I don't do anything if you ask me not to get involved. I just know you feel better when you talk. That's just how you are." "I'm aware." "I'm assuming those three did something that pissed you off." I'm not going to respond. I don't need more people knowing about this. "Silence speaks louder than words." I just want him to drop this. I can't help it if I don't feel like pretending to be happy. "Do you want me to ask them what they did?" "Don't threaten me with an ultimatum." He starts walking towards them. "Hey guys. Come over here." I grab his arm. "Jesus. Fine I'll tell you. You can be such an asshole sometimes." He waves them off. "Never mind." Their faces show that they have a good idea about what he's talking to me about. It makes me feel a little better that they're sweating a bit. "I know I can be, but sometimes it's necessary. It's not like I enjoy it." "Right." "So what happened?" "They were immature and invaded my privacy. Is that good enough for you?" "I suppose, but I'm not asking for my own benefit. I'm asking in order to give you a chance to vent. I'm guessing it's probably not something you can talk with Boram about to make you feel better. So you're kind of screwed; because talking about your problems is about the only thing that works for you." "I know, and no I can't talk to her about it." "Then talk to me about it. It bums me out seeing you in a bad mood. I don't like knowing you're hurting." Well, I really have no choice. I can at least find solace in the fact that he won't tell anyone and is mature enough not to give me a hard time. "Okay. This morning I was texting her. And I told her about all the marks she left on me." This is really hard to say out loud. "She started teasing me about all my reactions when she had been doing it." "In fun, right?" "Yeah. She said she liked them. So I was getting embarrassed. And she kept talking about everything that we did and..." "Got it." "So, I went to the bathroom. You can figure that out." "Yes. I get it." "After all that, I open the door and that little pervert is standing there and takes my phone before I can even think to stop him." "Seriously?" "Yeah. Then Jungkook gets in my way so I can't get to him." "That's really messed up. I wouldn't expect that from him." "Well, he was the first one to feel bad. I told Jimin to stop and I told them it wasn't funny. He asked Tae for my pass code and the little bastard told him." "So even he had a hand in this." "Yep. They were all in on it. Basically Jimin reads through them giggling and talking about how explicit it was. He didn't show any of them, but it's just as bad." "What the fuck? Why would they do that?" "I honestly have no idea. He had no reason to do it besides being a little freak. It was his idea and he roped those two into it. So Jungkook finally let's me by when I tell him that it was wrong. I grab my phone and chew them all out. I called them children and told them to avoid me until they grow up. Apparently they felt bad for all of five minutes and now they're having fun." "And you're pissed about it." "Hell yeah I am. What they did was messed up on so many levels. I'm older than them, I deserve some respect. That was private and they should know better. And to be made fun of and laughed at for something of that nature is..." "Devastating." "Basically." "This has definitely been a rough start for your relationship." "No kidding. I'm afraid everyone is going to hate her if problems keep coming up." "They probably would." "Honesty hurts so much." "It does. However, I'm sure those three will grow up. It'll lose its appeal and they'll lose interest soon enough. Just don't talk about her to anyone besides me; or Jin, he probably wouldn't care." "And Yoongi, God, who knows when we can move on from that. Tae said he was scared; that I intimidated him. The kid's right, it'll only take longer for this to pass if he really was scared in front of everyone. He's stubborn enough as it is, that just makes it worse." "Yeah. He was pretty uninvolved with the discussion last night. I think he was listening and getting irritated, but wasn't saying anything because he knew none of us were going to agree with him at that point." "I want this to blow over. I want it to be nothing special and for nobody to care." "You can't expect that so quickly. We've never dealt with this, and it's only been a couple days." "Doesn't mean I don't still want everyone to stop caring." "I can understand that." "When do you think that will be?" "Depends on which guy your asking about. Me, I'm cool with it already. Jin, he's probably going to care, but not in an intrusive way. Tae, he's always going from one thing to the next and he doesn't like making you feel bad. Jungkook, well, he's young and probably interested in it, but I don't see him doing anything like that again. You're problems are probably Jimin and Yoongi." "Yeah. Jimin seems to lose any sense of shame. He asked me about that night; whether it felt good to be scratched and all that. I genuinely thought he was just curious. So I told him without being too descriptive; but it was still plenty personal. He was making jokes about it in front of the other two; so I told him because he said he'd stop and would keep it to himself. Big mistake there." "He told the other two." "Without hesitation. And he only felt bad once I called him out on it." "I believe it. But at least Yoongi will just silently have an issue with it. It'll be uncomfortable but not outright hurtful." "I guess." There's a pause in conversation as we walk. "So are you going to call it quits if they keep harassing you?" "No, no way. I'm not that weak willed. If they keep it up, I'll just bring it up in front of all of you and make them feel like dirty and immature morons. At that point it'd be worth the embarrassment." "Good point. Can't say I agree with public humiliation as a deterrent, but if simply making them feel bad doesn't work, then I can't really stop you." "I'd appreciate it." "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that." "Agreed." "You going to tell her what happened?" "God no! I don't want to keep things from her, but I don't want to make her feel terrible for no reason." "She doesn't deserve to know?" I sigh. "She does, I know she does. It's that I don't want her to feel like she'll never be able to trust me. I don't want her to be too humiliated to meet everyone either." "Can she trust you?" "Yes. I'll just have to be a lot more careful. I guess I was too relaxed or something. I'm just not used to it." "When it comes to things like this it's better to try more than you think you have to, than to not try enough and hurt her. It'll strengthen your bond that way, too. It'll be a better relationship altogether." "Are you sure you've never dated? I seriously don't believe you when you say you haven't." He laughs. "Nah. I just read a lot of books and some of them talk about the function or disfunction of a relationship between characters." I laugh slightly. "Wanna borrow me some of those books?" He puts his hand on my shoulder and the other on his chest. "Nothing would make me prouder than seeing you trying so hard to make a girl happy." "You're being a smart ass, but I really meant it." "Oh. Okay then, sure I can borrow you a book or two when we're back home. Good for you for wanting to step up to plate. This whole thing might have matured you a little." "Maybe it has. But I'm going to try to make this work. I'm not going to let it just fade over time until we decide it's not worth it. It's worth it and I'm not going to let her feel ignored or unimportant. Never." "Well, make sure to remember what you just said. You owe it to her and yourself to make good on your word." "I won't forget." I really will do what it takes to keep this. I keep reminding myself that it's only been a couple days, but I feel like I know her so well that it seems like it's been a lot longer. Every time someone says I moved too fast, I question a little whether I really did; but I know in my heart I didn't. I had to be quick about it, if I hadn't then this never would have happened. I had to leave my number and I had to get her to agree to try being with me right away. Otherwise, it would have ended right then and there. From here it'll go slow. It's not like I'm going to propose to her, I'm not insane. It will move as normally as possible. As normal as a long distance relationship between a Korean rapper and an average American girl can be. When I put that way, it doesn't sound like it'll ever be normal. But who wants boring and normal, right?
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