Parts: all found here
WARNING: Mature content
- Boram's point of view -
He's off-putting. Contrary to his face; his tone is a mixture of condescending, sarcastic, and insulting.
What a great guy, no wonder Hoseok didn't want me to talk to him. Regardless, I've dealt with worse. I'm sure of that.
I smile back. It's forced and he knows it. "No he hasn't. That's fine. So far I've only met Namjoon, so it wouldn't hurt to meet you as well."
The tone in my voice is one that is showing that I'm not weak and I won't deal with any shit he's going to try to talk. It's pleasant sounding, but someone like him can hear what's behind it.
"Ask away. What would you like to know? What exactly aren't you believing?"
"For starters, the attitude you're giving me is quite the opposite of the "oh, so nice girl" the two of them claim you to be. Why's that?"
What an asshole. I get he's in the group, I'm not going to go out of my way to make an enemy of him, but I'm not going to let him push me around either. I wonder if Hoseok knew that from what he's gathered about me and that's why he was hesitant to leave.
"I give back what I'm given. If you're going to pretend to be friendly, when I can clearly hear it in your voice that you're far from that, then I'll do the same. If you want this conversation to take place with us exchanging fake, passive aggressive words, then I'm game. Let's go for it." I smile big.
I can be a bitch, passive aggressiveness and well thought out comebacks are like my native language. It's up to him which he'd rather deal with; that or my usual self.
"Oh. So you have a sharp tongue. You sure can read people though."
"If Hoseok would ever talk to you guys about me, then you'd know that some of my strongest qualities are socializing, reading body language, and simply understanding people and their personalities."
"So if I'd have been pleasant then I'd have seen what Namjoon and Hoseok see?"
I'm still smiling, when he loses that fake as hell smile then I'll lose mine.
"Of course. I'm pleasant with pleasant people. However, I'm not so inherently nice, nor naïve, to the point that I'm going to be a door mat and let someone rudely walk all over me. I put other people first over ninety-five percent of the time, but I don't put myself out there for people to abuse."
"Can we stop the fake pleasantries now? It's a bit pointless and my cheeks are starting to hurt from forcing this smile."
His smile fades. "Yeah sure."
His eyes are very cold. I wonder if he can see that in mine. He seems like he can recognize people's negative emotions.
"What do you honestly want to know? I'm not sure what you expect to gain from talking to me when I have this attitude."
"Then lose the attitude."
"I told you, I'm pleasant with pleasant people. I've been through enough to know what people like you do. I'm not going to let my guard down for you to try to get inside my head. I don't let people play mind games with me. If anyone here is going to get into anyone's head, I assure you that it's going to be me getting into yours."
That lit a fire in him. As much as a smirk wants to cross my lips, I can't show anything beyond a cold poker face. It's not that I like pissing people off, but I feel like taking self-righteous guys down a peg is doing society a favor.
"Is that so?" His jaw is slightly clenched. Apparently he typically let's his anger take over, he's having a hard time keeping his cool and at such an early point.
"Sure is. I'm damn confident in what I can do. Remember, I said my strongest qualities are all about reading people and their personalities. Also remember that I said I'd dealt with people like you before."
"What exactly am I like?"
"From what I've gathered in this very short amount of time, between how you treated Hoseok and how you've treated me, is that you're cocky. I think most people around you are either weak-willed or let you get your way so they don't have to deal with a hissy fit. And because they do that, you think you're intimidating."
"If you're caught up on the hissy fit part, I guarantee that if the people you do this little act for have backbones, they simply find it far easier to just pacify you like a child who throws tantrums."
More silence, but he's biting his lip.
"Careful you might make your lip bleed if you keep biting down on it that hard."
He stops, he didn't realize he was doing that. That's what happens when people who go crazy when they're mad try to play it calm and cool. They give it away and I can see it, even if they don't notice it themselves.
"This is a pretty one sided conversation, and you wanted to know about me. All I've talked about though is mostly you. Funny how that happened."
His foot is tapping. I can just barely hear it.
"So. Judging by the way your jaw is clenched, you were biting your lip, and your foot is tapping, your incredibly irritated. Is it because I hit a soft spot? Did I open your eyes to something you never realized because you never took the time to think about why everyone bends to your will?"
"I can't believe he'd find a girl like you."
"I told you what you're like, so let's have you tell me what I'm like. I'd love to hear a well worded analysis. To this day, I'm yet to hear anything beyond having a, "You're a bitch" thrown at me. So I'm sure you can be quite elaborate and in-depth."
"You're just..." He's going to snap.
"I'm what? You haven't come to a conclusion yet? Haven't you been paying attention? I thought you were going to be the one playing the mind games. That requires a person to-"
"You're a manipulative fucking cunt!"
"Well, I guess that's more than the usual. I got an adjective and a stronger cuss word. I'm glad I finally know exactly what kind of person I am, until now I'd never known. Thank you for enlightening me."
"Why would Hoseok ever like a girl like you!"
I lose the harshness of my voice and calm the look on my face. As of now I don't need to keep pushing him. I've made my point.
"You're preaching to the choir. To be perfectly honest, I'm very happy he does like me and I care about him immensely, but I don't quite get it myself. I'm guessing it's because I reciprocated his pleasant disposition. That's my natural disposition as well. Just because I can turn this on when I need to, doesn't mean I enjoy it. I would have preferred to have good, constructive conversation with you. I don't want to make enemies, in fact I hate it. It tears me up inside to know someone dislikes me. It eats away at me."
"Why would provoke me to be angry with you, just for you to end up telling me you're weak?"
"I'm not weak. It's better known as being compassionate and considerate. I'm telling you this because I don't intend on having you hate me forever. I did all that because I wanted you to know we were, at a bare minimum, on equal ground and I wasn't going to let you be in charge and intimidate me. Otherwise, this would have gone absolutely nowhere and you wouldn't have known a single thing about me. You'd have been rude and I'd have hung up."
"You pick up on things quick."
"I do. Unfortunately, I seem to have over did it and actually intimidated you. So I'd like to apologize. It was never my intention to actually hurt you."
He looks away. "You didn't intimidate me and you sure as hell didn't hurt me."
"I know I did. If I could see through you before, do you think I can't do it now. There's nothing wrong with admitting something hurt you. It doesn't make you weak, it's called being human."
He shakes his head. "I won't admit that."
"You don't have to. I'm sincerely sorry. I really am. Out of curiosity, are you the one who pushed Hoseok around and yelled at him that morning? He never told me the name of who it was."
I wish he'd actually look at me. I feel pretty bad for hurting him like that.
"Yeah I did."
"So you came in here to see if I was a bad person, if I was using or taking advantage of him somehow. Your other option was to hurt me enough to make me leave him. All because you don't want to be troubled by our relationship."
"So what's your take on this? You can be critical, you can be mean, I'd understand completely if you felt that way after what I said and how i treated you."
He sighs and thinks for a moment. "You're real. You're intelligent. You can be a bitch, but apparently only when it's warranted. I believe you when you say you hate being disliked and I believe you when you apologized."
"I'm glad you believed my apology."
"I didn't say I accepted it."
"I know. I'd like it if you did and I hope you will someday. If you believe me though, then you realize I'm not a terrible person."
"I guess you're right."
"Can I ask you two things?"
"How have the other members been dealing with this? I can tell you're honest and I'm worried Hoseok is simply sparing my feelings. I'd like to know."
"They're actually fine. The younger three did something to piss him off, nobody besides them knows why though. But he's been giving them the cold shoulder for weeks so it's obvious they did something pretty bad. Besides that, I really don't know why he's so sneaky about it. I was the only one irritated about you."
I smile. "So you were irritated, does that mean you're not anymore?"
He finally looks at me, the hate in his eyes is gone and he no longer looks hurt. "Do you just analyze people and everything that's said to you?"
Now we're getting somewhere. He's actually curious and trying to figure out what I'm like. If I can get him to be nice to Hoseok, then I'll be happy.
"For me there's nothing more important in communication than making sure I approach people and speak to them in a way that compliments their personality. To do that, I have to observe them."
"Then you do analyze everything?"
I shrug. "More or less."
"Can you even enjoy a conversation when you do that?"
"I've found that the most pleasant conversations occur when I accommodate other people. I take them into account and make sure they feel comfortable enough to talk to me. I actually enjoy it more if I do that."
"You are intelligent."
"When it comes to this I am. I'm just naturally good with people."
"I can tell. So what else did you want to know?"
"After all of this. How do you feel about me being with Hoseok?"
He looks away again. "If it won't cause me trouble, then I don't mind you. I agree with them, you're down to earth."
"I'm glad y-"
"And I agree that you're nice and considerate. We got off on the wrong foot because of me. If I'd have been less of a dick, then this wouldn't have been so difficult. I'm sorry I caused all that."
"It's okay. I fully understand why you've been irritated by all this, so I'm not surprised or angry that you'd be like that. I'm glad you can accept me. You all are important to him; so it's important to me that no one bares any grudges."
"I was your biggest obstacle, so you should have no problem winning everyone else over."
"That's comforting to know. Now I know I said I only wanted to ask two things, but would one more be okay?"
He sighs. "You talk a lot."
"Is that a no then?"
"No. Go ahead."
"It's a lot nicer to have a pleasant conversation, don't you think?"
He smiles a little. "I suppose you're right. You know, you're really sneaky and you definitely play mind games, because you managed to trick me into talking to you. More amazingly, I apologized."
"I hate to break it to you, but it's not a trick. I'm not a magician. That was all you. You let yourself talk. You let yourself be open enough to admit you were wrong for that. I only helped you feel comfortable enough to do so. That's not magic."
He lets out the tiniest laugh. "Nah, to me that is magic. I don't like meeting people or talking. So for you to get me to speak easily, that's magic."
"Well, whatever it was that got you to talk with me, I'm happy it worked."
He slowly nods. "Me too."
"Can I bother you for a favor?"
He genuinely smiles. "Are you ever going to stop asking me for things? First questions and now a favor. Who do you think you are?"
I laugh. "Just someone who wants to mend a friendship."
"Alright. What's your favor? I'll hear you out, but be prepared for a no."
"I really hope you won't say no. I know you probably won't want to do it, but it'd make life easier for everyone."
He laughs a little. "You're not really making me want to agree. You just said I won't want to do it."
"I know, I know. All I want to ask is if you can say sorry to Hoseok."
"I know what he did. Knowing him as well as you do, don't you think he'll immediately apologize. For the second time."
Oh good lord. What is that face!
I laugh. "Are you pouting!"
"You were totally pouting."
"Maybe not intentionally, but I've mastered it so I know pouting when I see it."
His brow furrows. "Shut up."
I laugh. "So you admit it."
He smirks. "Alright, if you're a "master" and you want me to do this so badly, then pout. Make me give in."
"If you're trying to embarrass me you won't. I'm a shameless pouter."
"Even so, it might sway me to say yes."
"If you say so."
He watches as I tilt my head down, give him puppy dog eyes, blink several times, and stick my lower lip out a little. I've got this down to a science, I've been honing it since I was a child. "Please?"
He busts out laughing. "Okay, okay. I'll do it. That was worth it. Thanks for the laugh."
"Alright, I'll go tell him to come say bye. I think I took up enough of your time."
"No problem. It was nice meeting you Yoongi."
He's a little surprised. "Nice?"
"Yes. You're a nice guy."
"Oh. Okay. It was nice meeting you too, Boram."
A few minutes later Hoseok comes back in.
He looks dumbfounded. "What did you do to him?"
"Why? What happened?"
"He came out smiling, apologized, then said you were a nice girl."
"Good. I'm glad he apologized."
"Seriously though Boram, what did you do? That wasn't normal."
"If you must know, he was going to try to intimidate me. I told him if he was going to try to get in my head it'd fail, because I'd be the one playing the mind games. I told him I'd dealt with people like him before. He asked what he's like and I told him flat out."
He stops me. "What did you tell him?"
"That he's cocky and he thinks he's intimidating just because everyone around him is either weak willed or gives into him to pacify him like a child who throws tantrums."
"You said that!"
"Did he say anything?"
"Not right away. So I slowly provoked him until I got a response. I asked him if I'd hit a soft spot, and if he'd ever wondered why he always got his way. Then he said he'd never thought you'd find a girl like me. I asked what I was like. He got pissed when he stuttered and I asked him why he didn't know if he was the one who was going to get in my head. He broke and called me a manipulative cunt."
"He said that! Did you get mad or cry or anything? Did he hurt your feelings, I'm sorry he said that. You're not-"
"I'm fine. What he said was spot on, with the way I was treating him and how I had hurt his feelings, I deserved it. After that I stopped pushing him and lost my attitude. I apologized and told him I don't like to do that, but if I hadn't then we'd have gotten nowhere."
"Did he stay mad?"
"No. He said he believed my apology and that I was a considerate and nice girl. He said sorry for being rude."
"He said sorry to you? After you did all that?"
"Yes. He's a nice guy. He said I had tricked him into talking with me and apologizing. I told him he did that on his own and I'd only made him feel comfortable enough to do that. Then he joked with me a little. I made him laugh, then he said it was nice to meet me, and left to get you."
"He joked with you and you got him to laugh."
"Yes, he laughed pretty hard too."
"I pouted. I asked him for a favor and he was going to say no unless I pouted. He was getting back at me for laughing at his unintentional pouting."
"You pouted for him?" Why does he look so betrayed.
"Yeah? What's wrong? You look upset?"
"I don't like that you were so friendly with him. I thought talking with people stressed you out."
"I wasn't when I talked to him. When I try to get at people, for some reason I'm never stressed. After he was okay he still showed his emotions easily so I could tell what was genuine and what was fake."
"What's wrong? You know I'm good with people. I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted him to be nice to you and realize he should apologize, that's the favor I asked him for. If he thought I was nice then he'd be friends with you again. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just being polite."
"I'm going to go. I'll talk to you later."
He hung up on me. What the hell did I do wrong? I was being as nice as I am to everyone else in the world.
Was it just because it was Yoongi? Was his behavior so surprising and out of the ordinary that it upset him? Was he jealous?
Fuck. I wasn't trying to hurt him. I was trying to make things easier for him. I hope he realizes my intentions were to help him, not hurt him. Fingers crossed Namjoon helps me out.
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