Parts: all found here
WARNING: Mature content
- Hoseok's point of view - A text message. "Please respond. It's been two days and you haven't talked to me. I'm sorry I upset you so much, I really wish you'd talk about this with me" I toss my phone beside me. Namjoon comes and sits by me. "Here you are, moping around still. Why exactly did you switch attitudes with Yoongi? You're in a bad mood and now he's in a good mood." "Ask him." "I don't want to ask him. You're the one who's upset. So what's bugging you? You haven't been happy at all and you haven't talked about Boram. Shit, did you guys break up?" "No. I just haven't been talking to her." "Why?" "She upset me." "By doing what?" "The other night I was video chatting with her and Yoongi walked in. No one besides you knew I did that, so he saw it and wouldn't let me say bye. He made me leave so he could talk with her." "Why would he want to talk with her?" "He wanted to be mean to her, but he lied and said he wanted to know what was so special about her that made me throw such a fit to be with her." "And?" "He actually did. He found out. After he talked to her, he came to tell me I could go and say bye. He had a huge smile on his face, apologized for how he'd been acting this whole time, and said that she was a nice girl." "That's a big change. What happened?" "She said he tried to be in charge and make her feel bad, so she went and got in his head. She made him mad and hurt his feelings." "Wow. She's got skills to hurt his feelings." "She's good at reading people so she knew how to hurt him. She said she was sorry and that she hadn't wanted to do that, but she had to or they wouldn't have gotten anywhere in that conversation." "What'd he do?" "I don't think he accepted it. She just said he believed her." I feel my eyes burning. "Then he told her she was nice and considerate. He apologized for how he acted." "He seriously apologized?" I nod with my eyes watering a little. "She told me they talked for a few minutes and he joked with her and she made him laugh." "She pisses him off and only a few minutes later he's apologizing and she's making him laugh?" "She's that good with people I guess. But she'd asked him for a favor too." "For what?" "She said it was something about helping us to get along again. But he made her pout for him before he would agree." "Seriously? What a weird guy." "She said it's because she'd laughed when he accidentally pouted." "Is there more to this?" "Well, that really hurt my feelings that she pouted for him. She shouldn't be acting cute for another guy. I mean, what the hell would make that okay?" "Are you sure she was trying to act cute? To her that may be less of acting cute and more of something she does to get her way sometimes." "I don't care why. She was cute, and with him of all people, after how he treated her and me. That made me so upset." "I get your point." Tears finally spill over. "What's worse is she said she wasn't nervous or stressed while talking to him." "Stressed?" "She's good with people but has bad social anxiety, so she avoids it. I thought I was special because she said she didn't feel stressed when she talked to me that first night." My chest feels like it's on fire, like my heart is literally being torn apart. It's so painful. "And now she's not stressed by him either! I don't know what to think! I was special to her for that and now he was the same way! I don't know if that makes him special to her too!" "I don't think he'll be special to her." "But you don't know that!" "There's an easy way to find out you know." "How?" "Ask her." "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to her." "You know she meant well, right? That she was trying to make your life easier. So that he'd stop being irritated about you and her." "She did too much." "I don't think she went overboard. If she's good with people like you said, then it may not be that special to her to be able to switch his mood around." "But I know how hard that would be." "For us, but maybe not for her. If she was able to get into his head, then I'd say she's able to work people over easily. Making someone laugh or smile might just be something she likes to do. I don't think she was trying to make him like her in any way beyond him being okay with you two." "Maybe." "You should think about it. I believe it'd be best to talk to her about this though, not me." "I'll think about it." - Yoongi's point of view - Namjoon comes in, shuts the door, and sits down in a chair by me at the computer. "What's up with the change in your mood the last few days?" "What do you mean?" "You've been pretty upbeat." "Thanks. Am I that big of an asshole that being in a good mood is out of the question?" "No. It was just a really quick change. Just wondering what's up." "Nothing." "I heard you talked to Boram the other night." "Yeah." "I heard that when you came in here that you were in a bad mood, and not long after that you had a big smile on your face and told Hoseok you were sorry and she was a nice girl." "I guess I was smiling. I don't think it was that much though." "I heard that she's the one who made you smile, and she made you laugh too." "She did." "And you said you were sorry for being mean. That's not much like you, because it sounded like she was extremely rough on you. So it doesn't make much sense for you to say sorry." "She apologized first. It was my fault she was like that anyway, I shouldn't have been so mean to her." "Look at me while you talk." I turn to him. "Okay, what." "You made her pout." I smile, I can't help it. I remember it, and it was so...adorable. "I did." "What's with that stupid smile." "Nothing. Why?" I can't make it go away. "Because I bring up her pouting and you smile like an idiot. Nothing about this has been funny. So why are you smiling? What's so great about her pouting?" I giggle a little. What the hell is happening? "Did you really just giggle?" "I guess." I need to stop smiling. I'm digging my own grave. "Tell me what's so great." I look away. "It-" "Look at me." I look at him. "It was, I dunno. Cute or something." "You can't do that! No! Yoongi you can't be sitting here thinking Hoseok's girlfriend is nice and cute! What the hell is wrong with you!" "I don't know! She was different! I've never had someone, especially a woman, talk to me the way she did. She got to me. She hurt me. But then she said sorry, and it was so genuine. I couldn't be mad after that." "Did you flirt with her?" I look away. I can't do this. "Not a lot. I didn't try to." "But you didn't try not to!" "I know. I just did it by accident." "Nobody flirts by accident. You did it on purpose. Did she flirt back?" "I think she was just being friendly. She either couldn't tell, or wasn't going to address it. I don't think she wanted to acknowledge it if she did notice." "That's fucked up." I hang my head. "I know." "You need to keep all that to yourself and lose these feelings. He's happy and you're not going to ruin that for him." "I know. I'll try to forget it." "Don't try. Just do it." "Yeah." He walks out. I lay my head down on the desk. "Fuck. Why. Why her." I sigh. I can't lie to myself. I know why. A girl manages to legitimately hurt me and I like her for it. That's fucked up. It's fucked up, but it's true. She's so straightforward. She's strong and sure of herself. She's manipulative, but I kind of like that. Someone who can actually control me a little. I want to talk to her, but I shouldn't want to. Days later and I'm still tricked by her...her magic hasn't worn off. I smile a little. She was kind of magic. I was so comfortable talking with her. I see what Hoseok likes about her. She treated me normal. So normal in fact that she didn't hesitate at all to insult me. I sigh contentedly. It was nice to meet me. I'm a nice guy. She saw how I really am, angry and cocky, and she still thought I was nice. I made her laugh and smile. I made a girl who doesn't know Suga, laugh and smile. Hoseok's right; it feels so nice to know someone likes me for who I am. Even after how I behaved. She embarrassed me. I don't remember the last time I was embarrassed by a girl. She was cute and I pouted in front of her. I felt stupid, but I liked hearing her laugh and seeing her real smile. Then she pouted just for me. I laughed because it's all I could do to keep from saying something I shouldn't. I was so close to telling her that she really was a pouting master and that she'd won me over with such an adorable look. That would have been awful and I would have looked like a total jack ass. She would have told Hoseok and I'd have had to deal with that. She was just being nice though. I know she doesn't like me, she likes him. I really do need to stop, I didn't even talk with her for that long. I shouldn't let such a short interaction leave such an impression on me. I guess that's how he must have felt, I understand why he wanted to keep talking to her. She leaves you wanting more of that comfort she provides. I can't hurt him though. I refuse to hurt him over a girl, especially one I don't know. I just don't want to hear about her, and I think he's irritated with me so I don't think I'll have to worry about it. I get why; I'd be mad too if some guy was smiling about my girlfriend and then said she was nice; and then proceeded to be happy for days after. I'll get over it. I'll just work like crazy and distract myself. ... It's been a couple weeks. Working hasn't done anything. It's done absolutely nothing. Why would she do that? Does she know what she does? I don't think she tries. I think it's just that she truly loves to make people feel good. "What are you doing?" Hoseok is walking past me. "Going on the computer." He's been in a better mood. He must have made up with her. That must mean he's going to go video chat with her. "Oh okay. I won't keep you then." "Thanks." He walks into the room and shuts the door. Maybe I'll go in there in like fifteen minutes. Just to get something. I forgot something in there. My notebook! Yeah, I forgot that in there! I hear them talking. I knock. "Hey, is it okay if I grab something? I forgot it in there." "Yeah, whatever." I walk in and they keep talking. I guess he doesn't feel he needs to be sneaky anymore. He's making her smile and laugh. It's not fair. No. It is fair because that's his girlfriend. He's supposed to make her happy, not me. But that's not reason enough to stop me from trying to make her smile too. "Oh you're talking to Boram." I walk over and look at the screen. I smile. "Hi Boram. How are you?" "Just fine, thank you. How are you?" She's smiling, I made her smile. "I'm good, but I feel even better now." What the fuck did I just say! He's right there! "I'm just gonna grab this and go. I left my notebook. Got an idea for a song, so I gotta write it while I'm still inspired. I'm pretty inspired lately." I'm inspired for all the wrong reasons. "That's great. I hope it turns out to be an amazing song Yoongi. I'm sure it will. Make it the best one yet." She smiles and gives me a thumbs up. I laugh nervously and look down. "Thanks. I'll do my best just for you." I look up a little and see her face. She looks really uncomfortable. I shake my head. "Sorry. I'm just going to go. I didn't mean to interrupt you two. Bye." I walk out and close the door quickly. How could I do that! I'm such a shitty person! He's my friend and I just flirted with his girlfriend in front of his face. It just came out. I hope he doesn't get mad at her. I put my ear close to the door. "Hoseok, why was he like that?" "I don't know. He's been off lately. I don't know what his problem is. Don't worry about it." I breathe a sigh of relief. Good, I didn't get her in trouble. I go to my room. I sit on my bed and stare at the pages of my notebook. I wasn't inspired for good reasons and I didn't need to grab this. I'm pathetic. I pretended to need something to talk to my friend's girlfriend. No matter how many times I say that statement, "my friend's girlfriend" I still like her. I'm a terrible person. I'm not just a bad friend, I'm bad as a person if I'm doing that. I barely know her and I'm doing this! I told her she made me feel better. I bashfully told her I'd do my best just for her. That's so wrong. If she was some girl I met and never had to be reminded of again, I'd be over it by now. But she's in my life because she's in his. If I try to write a song now, it'll be fucked. It'll be completely fucked. I'll either do badly because I want it to be perfect since she said to do my best, or I'll think about her the whole time I write it. Then every time I hear that song, I'll know who I was thinking of and it'll kill me. "Fuck!" I whip my notebook across the room. "Why! What's wrong with me! I can't do this!" It's like just because I never see girls that like me for me, that I'm completely infatuated with the only one who was nice to Yoongi. Abrasive and rude Yoongi. I'll find one someday. I just have to wait. If that dork Hoseok can find one, so can I. But he's a sensitive and genuinely caring guy. I'm hurtful and tempermental. Why would any girl like me? She could deal with me though. Because she can reign me in, she can make me stop. She can get to me and turn my mood around. She manipulates me, but in a good way. A way that would make it easy to be with a girl. I'm hopeless.
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