3 years ago1,000+ Views

What does 'asexual' mean?

No, it's not what plants do.

While a lot of people can't imagine a romantic relationship without sex, there's a community of people that don't feel sexual attraction at all. It's totally healthy and normal, and that sexual orientation comes with an identity: Asexuality. While the experience will vary from individual to individual, asexuality is generally differentiated from abstinence (which is a behavior). Asexuality is an orientation, meaning that it is an innate experience.
*Mature language warning*

Asexuality refers to sexual attraction.

An asexual person can (and many do) have romantic and other personal relationships. Some may identify as homoromantic (experiencing romantic attraction to people of the same gender) or biromantic (experiencing romantic attraction to people of more than one gender). Some ace people choose to have sex or masturbate, while others don't. Again, asexuality does not refer to behavior, it refers to an orientation. Orientation is an innate experience, which means that it is an internal and natural part of a person's identity.

Some other terms to know!

Demisexual- Someone who only experiences sexual attraction rarely, often after forming a strong emotional bond.
Aromantic- Someone who doesn't (or rarely) feels romantic attraction.
Romantic orientation- Describes who a person feels a romantic attraction to. I.e. homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic (etc.,).
Sexual orientation- Describes who a person feels a sexual attraction to. I.e. homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual (etc.,).
Sex-neutral- A way to describe feelings towards sex that are neither excited (or positive) or repulsed (or negative).
Sex-repulsed- Used to describe an individual's extreme disgust or aversion to sexual activity.
If you'd like to know more, check out The Asexual Visibility & Education Network.

Asexual people are NOT broken.

They don't need to be 'cured', they don't need therapy to 'fix' them, and they definitely don't need to 'meet the right person' or 'have the right experience'. Asexuals are also not anti-sex, nor do they want other people to stop having sex. Asexuals simply don't feel sexual attraction. But there is nothing about the ace movement that suggests people who do feel sexual attraction should stop having sex with consenting partners.

Don't be that person.

Just like nothing 'turns' people straight, nothing forces people to become asexual. Don't presume that another person's sexuality is anything other than what they say it is.

Asexuality might be more common than we think!

According to Prof Bogaert about 1 in 100 people is asexual (via). Some people might not realize they are asexual because they aren't aware such an identity exists, while others don't acknowledge it because there's so much pressure to experience sexual attraction.

1 in 100 is a lot of people!

Yet it seems rare that we give ace people the opportunity to speak about their needs. How often do we see the experiences of ace people represented in our media? How do you think we could do better?
Cards you may also be interested in
Drinking in K-Entertainment
While it might be significantly less in Kpop than in typical American pop, alcohol is a constant presence in K-entertainment. I have no problem with people drinking to have fun - that's fine! But in Kdramas or Kpop, people are often shown drinking in two situations: 1. When they're angry/sad 2. When they need confidence And then they often drink until they are so drunk that they can't walk, stay awake, or speak. Which is often a warning sign for alcohol poisoning. To make matters WORSE. In K-dramas it is often when one of the characters is drunk that a kiss scene happens. You're Beautiful for example. The girl is so drunk that she falls on the boy and accidentally kisses him. From that point on they start to fall in love. This makes it seem okay to make advances on drunk or sleeping people - which it is NOT. Seeing behaviour like this over and over again in media can make your brain automatically think "I'm sad - I need to drink" or "My crush is drunk, perfect time to make a move and hope he forgets" It seems like I'm being dramatic (and sure, I am!) but it DOES have an effect on us subconsciously! I'm not trying to be a grandma and say "get that alcohol off the television, kids might see it!" No, no. I'm just saying the way it is shown in media is encouraging people to drink when they are depressed or vulnerable which is exactly when you SHOULDN'T drink. Another thing: In America, drinking culture tends to use "sexy" women to advertise but in Korea (yes, they still use "sexier women but...) advertisements also tend to use very young "innocent" idols. Take IU for example. She's know as the "little sister" of Kpop and yet one of her biggest endorsements is soju. Because its cute to get young innocent girls drunk. Am I the only one who has noticed this in Korean entertainment? I know its an issue in the US too, but considering how big the drinking culture in Korea is, I think its important to talk about!
LGBT Pride Playlist
In light of the tragedy in Orlando, I want to make sure that everyone in this community regardless of your sexual orientation, your religious beliefs, or your political opinions, knows that you're loved. Everyone deserves to love and be loved, to live their lives how they wish, and to feel safe being themselves. Here are a few songs of encouragement, and I hope that anyone affected (which, really, should be all Americans) find peace. Amber - Borders Stand up, fall down, up again Up against the pressure I am in Slowly but surely I begin Jumping trains ‘cause I know I can win I know there’s a plan So thick the fog but I know I can trust The feelings that I feel when the roads rough Park Jungmin - Not Alone I can believe I’m not alone Not alone now, not sad anymore and I can feel it I’m not alone Definitely not alone, never be exhausted again Song Jieun - Don't Look At Me Like That Don’t look at me like that We’re just in love, that’s all Don’t hate on us, however you’re viewing us We’re just a little different Just leave us alone Can’t we live in a world where time stands still? Why? Why not? We did nothing wrong Why? Why not? We’re so in love Ailee - Heaven You taught me love in this harsh world I am happy with you alone Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven If we're together we will never cry never never cry Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Forever, together never gonna be alone BTS - Save Me Listen to my heartbeat It calls you whenever it wants to Because within this pitch black darkness You are shining so brightly Go spread love today, and every day.
Women Are Clingy, Men Are Romantic
Why is it that when a man performs a wild, extravagant, borderline-stalker gesture, and he's SO ROMANTIC. A woman attempts to sweep a man off of his feet, and we're called crazy. Or clingy. Or obsessive. Why is it more socially acceptable for a man to overly express his emotional side but women need to play it cool when it comes to romance? Writes you letters everyday. Think of the Notebook. We're told to think that's super romantic of the guy, but if a girl did it she'd be seen as obsessed!! Throws rocks at your window. I used to fantasize about that when I was younger, hoping my crush would ride his bike over and say he loves me from the street below. But think about a girl doing that...she's probably stalking you. Shows up outside your classroom door to walk you to your next class. A guy standing outside your office or classroom door is sweet, touching, cute, but a girl might be a little obsessed with you, right? Trying to change your mind about dating them. Girls chasing after their crush telling them 'I'll treat your right!,' ' Just give me one shot,' or anything Heath Ledger said in 10 Things I Hate About You just sounds goofy to think about! Do anything annoyingly musical. Put on a performance in front of the whole school, hold up a boom box outside of your window, whatever it is, guys can do it and girls should sort of...not... Use pick up lines. Guys may get a huge eye roll for using them, but have you ever heard a girl throw out a pick up line at someone at the bar? Probably not. Ladies: Do you ever feel like you can't make any big romantic gestures? What's a romantic thing you've done? Ladies and Gentlemen: Would you be turned on or off by a girl doing a bigger romantic gesture that's usually just considered a guy thing? Personally, I'm all for everyone showing love in as many ways as they can! I'm not super into big romantic things for me personally, but I say guys and gals should be able to do whatever they want!