Living with a bad roommate can make or break any college experience. As someone who has had my fair share of horrible roommate disaster stories, I am very well acquainted with how life turns out after the person you thought would be your BFF or someone you would at least enjoy their presence turned out to be the person you despised more than anyone else on the planet. It all starts out when you move in with people you don't know, you're excited, nervous, and very guarded because you're more focused on not trying to offend them.
You make small talk. You discuss interests. You set very loose overly kind boundaries to not come off like a jerk. You want to present yourself as open and easy going as possible so they don't think you're a stickler. There's a couple of red flags popping up but you think it's just first week nerves -- the kind you get when you change in front of each other for the first time. It's all new territory but you're sure they will be fine.
Okay games are over. The first red flag. This usually exposes itself by week three. They snore. They have a creepily controlling boyfriend/girlfriend who is over all of the time. They call their mom every second of every day. They have this weird obsession with animals. You've noticed some of your food go missing. They can't clean up after themselves. They haven't showered and or cleaned their clothing in weeks. They are drunk or high 99% of the time. They bring someone home every night at odd hours. They just bought a new tissue box and its empty after a week. All in all, you know something is very wrong.
You continue on with the normal day to day trying to be kind and understanding. No one wants to be the mean roommate and you have yet to express your concerns to any of your other friends at school. If your roommate ever gets the sense that you're bothered by something you quickly dismiss it with "Everything is fine!" and you carry on. Deep down inside you're beginning to panic but maybe it's just an isolated incident. But you know for sure its not.
Then red flag wave two comes. And then red flag wave three, then four, then five and it seems as though you landed with the worst luck of your life. All you feel is annoyance and resentment towards them. Would it really kill them not to blast music at 10:30 p.m. when you have a test tomorrow? Or why does our room suddenly smell like weed? Could you have let me know MORE guests were staying over even though you've had a guest over five nights in a row. How is it that my water is completely gone when I bought a new pack two days ago? This is not cool man, not cool.
You cave and tell your best friend. You don't know what to do or how to address it. Your roommate is doing weird things around you and you're so uncomfortable. You caught them watching porn in the room last week and now you're forever mortified. When you found used condoms on your floor you almost puked and you can't even begin to explain the smell. You're miserable.
So again, to be a saving grace you just stage a very nonchalant intervention. You sugarcoat your concerns to your roommate trying to be professional as possible. You offer some minor solutions with a big smile. You continuously say that you're not angry or offended and they're just some minor things that stepped over your boundary. Like every other roommate story, they apologize profusely completely unaware of their wrong-doings. They are so sorry that you feel horrible for bringing it up in the first place. Things go perfectly fine temporarily.
After about four days they are back to their old ways and you know that it's far too early to bring it up again. You thought you made it very clear that after 9 p.m. you could no longer blast music and they would change their alarm volume so they don't wake you up before your afternoon class. You thought there would be a silver lining but its back to the same old crap and you have no idea what to do. You are slowly dying inside.
Panic strikes. It's only the first semester and you have an entire second semester to live with them. You begin to beg your friends to move in with them. You talk to your RA but nothing seems to help. You're going absolutely crazy and there seems to be no solution. After last week's weird episode of them giggling to strange videos in their bed for hours, you have had it. There is no way you're going to survive this roommate situation. Time to move out or find a way to blast them to Mars.
All contact ceases. STOP TALKING TO ME. Nope. Done. Nata. Don't do it.
It's the final straw and there's no turning back now. Complete utter explosion. You begin screaming and freaking out on them because it's a Tuesday night, you have four early morning classes tomorrow, and if they ask you to leave the room one more time...well we already know what happens because you lost your cool. You start rapidly listing off everything that has been bothering you and they just stare blankly until they start firing back at you and then it's full on war.
No visitors. No one touches your stuff. No one comes to the room without your knowledge. No one steps on your side of the room. No music without headphones. Food completely separated in the room. Do not speak unless it's an absolute emergency. Hide all toiletries. Don't look at one another. Phone calls must be made when the other is not present. Everything is strictly on non verbal interactions. You have entered extreme isolation/defense mode.
If you could classify your emotions in one GIF, this would be it.
But you justify your no-contact co-habiting to just counting down the days knowing that it's all their fault. And even if it is partially your fault, it doesn't matter because you have definitely found alternative living plans so that you can escape. At this point all you can do is wait and hope that nothing else happens before the end of the semester. Ultimately you're really sad it didn't work out.
They'll tell you I'm insane.
Your Ex Roommate