3 years ago500+ Views

No one should have to live in fear.

Abuse is a really difficult topic to discuss, because in addition to all of the deeply personal and emotional aspects of the issue, it's extremely difficult to find the truth buried in our misconceptions. Many abuse statistics rely on self-reporting (meaning the victim would need to volunteer the information, despite the social stigma and shame associate with abuse, in addition to pressure and manipulation from the abuser). Other statistics rely on local law enforcement, and officers are rarely trained in abusers' tactics or have the resources to help victims.

What abuse is, and what it isn't.

While women are more likely to be victims (and men are more likely to be perpetrators) of abuse, abuse itself does not discriminate between race, orientation, religion, or gender. Abuse is a pattern of behavior and it is chronic. Abuse is not a one-time occurrence and it is not something that will disappear without intervention. Abuse is an attack on a person's identity and self-worth. It can be physical, emotional, or sexual (or some combination of all three). Abuse is an extremely personal form of terrorism. It is not about love. It's about power and control.


"He should just man up and deal with it."
Absolutely not. If someone is being chronically abused, it is not their fault. People seeking help have nothing to be ashamed of.
"That can't happen to men."
Men are just as capable of being hurt (emotionally and physically) as anyone else. The idea that men are always dominant and never emotional is incredibly toxic.
"That's what he gets for being gay."
Being gay is not a choice, and even if it were no one deserves to be abused. Men are more at risk when they are in same-sex relationships, but no one chooses to be abused.


Men are less likely to be the victims of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
According to Women's Aid (a UK program) about 89% of victims of chronic partner abuse are female, and the other 11% are often in same-sex relationships. That doesn't make their pain any less real or important.
Men are more likely to be sexually assaulted when they join the armed services.
Men who enlist in the United States Military are ten times more likely to be sexually assaulted (via). Though women are more likely to be targeted, fewer of them enlist, and there are tens of thousands of male victims every year.
Men are often victimized by other men.
Though women are absolutely capable of being abusers, the vast majority are male (one exception is in juvenile detention facilities, where young men are victimized at a higher rate than non-detained children). Abusers they do not limit their controlling, violent, or abusive behaviors to women.
Men with disabilities are more at-risk.
In a recent study, 70% of disabled respondents reported that they had been the victims of abuse. LGBT+ youth are also more likely to be victims, particularly in juvenile detention facilities (over 10% reported they had been sexually victimized, as opposed to 1.5% of heterosexual youths).

Male victims are not a joke.

Their feelings of confusion, hurt, shame, and misery are valid and real.
1 comment
Really good card, and thank you for shedding light on something that isn't normally talked about