LizArnone
3 years ago1,000+ Views
I have a really bring issue with people telling me they are okay when they aren't. Not only does it make me feel like they don't trust me, but it makes it impossible to really rectify an issue with a loved one. So I am here to remind everyone that, NEWSFLASH, it's totally ok to not be ok. all. the. time.
In relationships, be it romantic, friendships, or even family, problems will arise. Some are small, like your sister always taking your socks, and some will be large, like your SO cheating on you. You're allowed to be pissed! With small things, you shouldn't let it overwhelm you, it is just socks. But if you keep telling your sister you aren't mad why the hell would she stop wearing them?! You told her you were ok. But when it comes to bigger stuff, there is no reason for you to "be strong", "put on a brave face" or any other stupid expression that tries to control how you feel about something. Someone fucked with you, be fucking mad and let them know it. Because nothing will change if you keep saying everything is gravy.
When you say everything is okay when it isn't, you are missing the chance to actually make everything better! You deserve to be happy, and you have the right to be tell people when you aren't. And just a reminder, things might not be okay right now, but they will be. Don't let anyone stifle your voice.
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Now I'm not speaking for everyone, but this is how it is for me. I tell people that I'm fine when I'm not because I don't want anyone to have to add my burdens to theirs. I feel like I'm just being a burden and I'm only causing more problems for everyone. And like @buddyesd said, part of it is fear, like if we tell someone we aren't okay then someone could try to take advantage of us in our moment of weakness. We're scared that if we aren't strong then we'll just be trampled over and just....forgotten.
I have a giant probe with this... it arises from a past of not having anyone to talk to because people would literally punish me for speaking. then never fixed as I had little support for opening up. I say I'm good no matter what... not even I'm okay... but I'm good because it comes out of my mouth before I can even think of saying anything else. it's not so easy for some of us to just say how we feel especially when we've been conditioned at some stage in our life... i worked with a therapist in college and have significantly opened up but I still hold somethings in and later become massively passive aggressive.
"Not everybody is going to be happy all the time. That's not mental health, thats crap. " - Meredith Grey
Preach it!!!!!
It is not always correct to put yourself above others, and yet they should never be above you. How do you know when hate and love are right?
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