Golf is a sport that I've played for many years. I was number one on my high school team and was even offered a few scholarships to play in college. I love it. It's relaxing and fun, albeit frustrating and expensive.
The Masters is arguably the most important tournament in the entire golfing world. It pits the best of the best against some amateurs and legends in the making.
One thing that has bugged my grumpy dad ever since I can remember is the fact that nobody mentions shit about prize money anymore. Here are his thoughts about the 2016 Masters tournament, where an unranked player won and Phil Michelson didn't even make the cut.
As always, what follows was written by My Grumpy Dad @MattStevens, a person who I had the pleasure of visiting (and watching yell at the TV) this past week.
I could just cry. Couldn’t you? How could Fate deal such a blow to Jordan Spieth? The 22-year-old golf pro may never recover. He somehow shot a 41 on the back side at Augusta National in the final round of The Masters and finished second. The green jacket (the “coveted” green jacket) was all but his after he fired a four-under-par 32 on the front. He led by five strokes turning for home. Then, it happened: bogey, bogey, quadruple bogey. No Masters for you, Jordan Spieth. You won last year. You don’t get to win this year. Ha, ha, ha.
Have you ever noticed how they NEVER even mention the prize money? You could watch the endless coverage of The Masters from end to end and never know they’re actually playing for money. “How much does the winner get?” children ask their fathers while they sit glued to big screen TVs for four days. “I’ll look it up on the internet,” the fathers are forced to reply.
There’s a good reason for that, you know. Jordan Spieth has already made more money at age 22 than 99.99 percent of the people who exist on the planet today will make in their lives. That’s right. I did the math. The figure is like 20 or 30 million by now when you add the stream of income from endorsement deals. So, they don’t mention the money during the broadcast because it’s obscene.
That’s the only word you can use. Obscene. Think about it. While most of the world’s people were trying to figure out how to pay mortgages, how to afford food, how to keep the lights turned on—Jordan Spieth was making a seven on a par three at Augusta National and earning the sympathy of over-paid blowhard announcers who actually speculated as to whether he’d be able to recover from such a devastating event.
Well, I guess they had to talk about something—because they were under orders NOT to mention how much money he blew with his blow up. The winner took home $1.8 million. Spieth tied for second with Lee Westwood (also obscenely rich) and earned just $880K. What a frigging shame! That 22-year-old kid may never be the same after being forced to swallow a check for $880K for a week of playing golf.
I’d blow my frigging brains out if I were him! Do you have any idea how much better he could have lived with that extra $920K? I mean, if you add $920K to the $20 or $30 million you already have in the bank, well, the difference would be life-changing!
That’s why they don’t mention the money on the broadcast. They don’t want everybody else to hate the players while the players are hating themselves. That would be too much for most of the players—being hated for being rich. After all, 99 percent of them (these days) come from golfing families—which means they were members of country clubs—which means that even if they never earned a dime playing golf, they’d still have very nice basements at their parents’ houses to live in while considering high-paying jobs as club pros. So, yeah, they’re already hated in private circles for being country club brats. Let’s not make it public people.
Danny Willet won The Masters by three strokes. His was a better story anyway. Willet, from England, almost opted out of the tournament because his wife’s due date was Sunday. Fate brought the baby about a week early, so Willett became the last player to join the field. Willett is old. He’s 28, but he has been a millionaire since age 23 and has won three times on the European tour. You won’t find his earnings on his Wikipedia page because, well, I guess prize money isn’t important to a PROFESSIONAL GOLFER’S life story!
It needs to stop.
I hope Jordan Spieth hires a good psychiatrist and finds a way to continue in life. I know I’d hate to be in his shoes. I’d be spending some of that $880K on some golf lessons for Christ’s sake.
You can follow the adventures of My Grumpy Dad over at his collection. What do you guys think? Sports Fans: