3 years ago500+ Views
Genre: Angst; !Mention of Suicide!
Members; Yoongi/Suga; Reader(You); OC child; Jungkook; Minor appearance of other members.
Part 3/7
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
Summary: Was this really all he could do? Was this the some total of his worth?
Aged: 2
He had made the mistake of calling you. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. All he wanted to do was check the lyrics Taehyung had come up with on his phone, but he had mistakenly pressed the wrong button and was flooded with photos of you. Yoongi had actually dropped the phone in his surprise.
Why did Taehyung have pictures of you?
He had picked up the phone again, the curiosity getting the better of him. And that was where he went wrong.
Expecting to see the happy candid photos Tae loved to take, Yoongi was greeted with sombering images of you crouched by a hospital bed. At first he was confused, until his eyes followed the IV to the small hand held gently in your grasp and the ashen face with eyes firmly shut.
And the phone slipped again.
Breath stuck in his throat, his hands fumbled trying to grab the phone again. For whatever reason he couldn’t grip it. He tried to blink the image away from his mind, but it was all he saw when he closed his eyes. It was just a sick kid, he tried to convince himself. As cruel as it sounded, children were always getting sick. It was one of the cruelties of life.
But what hurt the most was that in the back of his mind he was always aware that this sick child was his.
And he had wanted nothing to do with them.
He doubled over, vomiting violently on the floor. Sweaty forehead pressed against the cool hardwood, he dry heaved. Tears gathered in his eyes and Yoongi angrily pounded his fists on the floor. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
You and the baby were supposed to be happy without him. His child was supposed to grow up healthy and strong and live a full life even without him there. He had had it all planned out. His baby’s life was supposed to be beautiful.
It wasn’t until Jin and Namjoon were forcing him into a seat that he realized that he had been shouting at the top of his lungs and throwing things. Through bleary eyes he noticed he had broken most of the decorations and photo frames in the room. Jin’s favorite DS sat in pieces in the corner of the room along with some sort of fragile gift Jimin had received from a fan and a plethora of glass from picture frames.
Without much thought he had called you, fully unprepared to hear you crying so bitterly. And he could do nothing but numbly sit while Jin treated his bloodied hands and listen. You spoke of little tidbits of your baby’s life; happy moments, reliving the good memories.
But Yoongi couldn’t relate. He wasn’t there when his son (as he had soon found out) took his first steps or smiled or laughed the first time. He could hear everything you were saying and knew his heart should be feeling the same joy you were trying to relive, but all he felt was sadness. So he sat and listened and hated himself more every moment. And when you had finally asked him to say something, all he could say was,
“I never wanted this to happen to him.”

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