4 years ago
kristenadams
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What you should say before your first night together
Many women, and myself included, have at some point thought "we slept together, but he still doesn't consider me his gf?!" The reality, though, is that it may be due to a lack of communication. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s true: Just because a man has sex with a woman doesn’t mean that he has even spent a second thinking whether or not he wants to be with her or have a relationship in the future. Yet almost every gf I have equates sex with a relationship. Is that really fair? So you slept with a guy, and then he got distant. You’re probably thinking he played around with you and was not being honest about what he was looking for, bc let's face it only a moron or a player would not know! Yet is that true? Have you ever had your exes or male friends assume you thought something, and were completely confused as to why you didn't? Same happens vice-versa. Did YOU tell him what you wanted before you got physical? Did you say something like, “I only sleep with a man if he is ready to be in a serious relationship?” For those of you who have, then I commend you. I have made the mistake of not asking, but then uh-oh. The mistake lots of women, like me, do during “casual dating” is that we give no impression that this is not casual sex. We naturally assume the act of sex would speak for itself. Ladies, that is wrong. Men, especially you have barely known longer than a month, will rarely understand the way you think. So you should tell him what YOU really want. Yes that is a scary thought bc, let's face it, guys do tend to scare when they hear the word commitment. But would you be reading this if you what you wanted was a guy who you sleep with and then wants to run the moment he thinks about being with you? Let's not always blame it on the jerks. Ladies, we are all capable of speaking our minds, so it is on us that "our" man knows that mind so that you both make knowledgeable decisions.
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