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"How are you feeling?"
"I feel like crying, I feel like shit."
"Don't listen to your dreams Vann, they're just imaginary voices playing with your head."
"Then why do they feel so real? why does it feel like they're right in front of me, staring at me with a devil-like look?. But when I open my eyes they're gone. Jimin, I don't get why are they considered nightmares when they feel so realistic."
"You have to think of positive things when dreaming.... or they'll keep invading you Vann."
"Jimin... why do I feel so lonely? everywhere I go, even though there's people around me, it feels like there's no one there."
"Your parents might not be here but that doesn't mean you're alone, you have me."
"I don't care about them, they left me and never bother to call and ask if I was even alive. They never cared for me."
"Just forget it. It happened a long time ago... they're gone now."
Jimin and I know each other since we were in High School. He's always been there for me, now we're in college and roommates. He lost his parents at a young age. He doesn't see the world in a depressing-hate way, he sees it as a land of hopes and he's always there to help. But I know he's hurting. His younger sister died while giving birth; leaving him without a sister and a neice without a mother. Despite how much he's lost, he manages to smile as if nothing ever happened. When he's asked about it he changes the subject and tries his best to not be upset. He was there to experience it; he was there when his parents died on their plane to Jeju Island, he was one of the lucky survivors, and he was also there to to experience the death of his sister. I felt pity for him but I know he doesn't like people pitying him; he's too strong to be a pitiful person and if he lets his guard down.... he might break down and release long-hidden anger.
"I can see through you Vann, what's wrong?"
"I just want it all to end, I want to graduate and move on with life, I don't want to be tormented anymore."
"We have the same purpose then: to live on and enjoy what life has instored for us."
"I know this might sound weird, but what do you think life is?"
"I wouldn't consider that a weird question but life is blind between what's real and what's not. Take sorrow for example, life doesn't know what sorrow is so it laughs in our faces while we suffer. Therefore, life is oblivious of happiness, love, hate and of course sorrow it's self."
"Hm, a depressing way to put it but you're right, life gives no fucks about us."
"Vann, look at me.". He cups my face and caresses my cheeks; an action he uses to calm me down from thinking too much or to stop me from crying.
"I know how you feel, but I want you to be happy. Do not worry about life and focus more on yourself and YOUR life."
"I do focus on myself, just that sometimes I like to space out and leave my body for a minute or perhaps, hours at least."
"It's that why you were smiling to youself in Ms. Jin's class? You looked like you were thinking about something when you were smirking and giving me a pevertive look."
"Yah! worry about yourself, let me have my moments."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"