When I was 18 I thought I was an adult, making decisions that determined how my life would be, with the flippancy that only an 18 year old who never understood repercussions could understand.
Its how I chose you. Convincing myself, as I ran to my friends rooms the next days, telling secrets and saying I have everything under control. I know were just friends. Best friends.
When I was 18 i didn't understand gray areas.
Love happens when you are in a relationship. After a certain number of dates, after a kiss that stopped time. After the girl made the guy realize he couldn't think straight without her.
You taught me gray area. A place where you and I always resided. Way to much for friendships and yet never enough for relationships.
You sent me spiraling into decisions that I wasn't ready to make. Games I didn't know the rules of, and feelings you didn't want to have.
When I was 18, I thought I deserved a fairy tale.
What I got was you.
And you were exactly what I needed when I was 18; so 19 could be a little clearer.