The sun is reaching an uncomfortable height in the early afternoon of yet another Monday. I'm watching a crow waddle down the sidewalk across from yet another Starbucks in California. This place has a healthy amount of tables outside for freelance writers and high school students who have fled campus for a lunch time late in order to feel older than they are.
I can feel my pale skin burning under the rays. I've got a feeling of transition in my bones, things are changing. Tides are turning. It's an election year and I'm listening to rap music instead of Alternative. Well, not really...it's a Fall Out Boy remix album.
My mind has been all blocked up for the past month. Something about the warmer weather and long hours of contemplation have rendered me uncreative and at the very least...perpetually exhausted. Sometimes, as I have previously stated, getting outside can be the best possible solution to an overcrowded being.
People are wearing all kinds of different ensembles today. Some are in winter jackets, others T-shirts and jeans. Some are dressed for the beach and some look like they're ready to scale a frozen mountain. Northern California is one of those places where, if you took a picture of the people on the street...you wouldn't be able to tell what season it is based on their clothing.
Transitions are a thing I've been thinking about a lot. Recently I've been playing phone tag with some of my best friends from college. A few of them are workingon alternative classes from their degrees, and a regretting ready to close that inevitable chapter of freedom and join the rest of us in the working day world.
If spending time in the land of tech giants has taught me anything, it's to self preserve and on a dreary Saturday night when facemasks and Sex and the City seems much better than going out, I confronted my friends:
"Listen, you have to get it together...you have to make a decision, to go out there and get it done, or to go home. Going home isn't losing, it's just...save up some money if you want to leave! I don't get it."
I was met with contention and a little bit of stubbornness. Sometimes transitioning isn't as quick or easy for people. Something I've learned from re-reading the stubborn writing of my 22 year old self, is that everyone has their own pace.
I got some strange news this morning, nothing life shattering but...it got me thinking about how people handle transitions, and if they are able to make multiple shifts at once: like from college to the working world, or back again. Being in your early 20's is tricky business. It requires a lot of courage, and sometimes that courage stems from the ability to ask for help.
When something is altered, a transition is required. Like when you move to a new city or start a new job. You have to change certain behaviors or aspects of your routine to adapt your new space or situation. The same goes for relationships and friendships. To say that the landscape isn't changing is an injustice.
"You know what, you guys will get there...you won't get stuck if you don't let yourself. Work hard for a few months at something you hate...and then I can help you. I'd do that for any of my friends."
I knew my condolences for their lives changing wouldn't really help, but to them...I appear to have it all figured out.
This morning proved that I don't...and that we are all but one step away from a big shift, a change that can lead us to new and amazing places, or help us understand what it's like to be up in the air, waiting for stability and passion to meet us.
All we can do is gradually adjust, whether it's a choice, or forced. Some things are uncontrollable, but that's half the fun.